You Are My Protagonist

Chapter 21

I step into the ward. Patti is lying on the bed in the left side of the room and my parents are next to her. My mother's eyes are dry but her hands clutching her purse are white, displaying how hard she's been gripping the strap. As I step into the room, Patti's eyes flicker open.

"Amma?!" My mom calls her. 

"Gayatri...What happened?" Patti responds to my mom.

"Nothing, nothing, your blood sugar was a little low but it's all fine now." Patti peers around the room, patting my mother's hand reassuringly and smiling at my father. Then, she notices me. 

"Ramayan! You are here too?" .

"Of course Patti." I smile softly.

"That's right Amma, he came here to see you." My mother tells her. 

"Oh good, good. Ramayan, my Raman I'm so happy to see you. You're such a big boy now, making food by yourself and everything. And you're already old enough to get married. But I don't know if I'll live long enough-"

"Amma don't say that!" My mother interrupts. "Of course you'll live. You'll live for a long time. Actually, Ramayan came here to tell you some special news. Isn't that right Ramayan?" She turns to me, forcefully smiling, urging me with her eyes. Appa is indifferent while Patti looks curious.

I watch Patti's wrinkled and chapped lips, the same lips that would spout the plot to various Indian soap operas for hours. I gaze at those perpetually smiling eyes, that are now underlined with heavy shadows. Back when I was studying for the SAT and had my own eye bags, she would place a blanket over me, hand me water to drink, cheer me up with her incessant chatter...My mind returns from the memories and I, once again, gaze at her shrunken and pallid form before opening my mouth.

"I do." I inhale sharply. My mother looks expectant, Appa is still disinterested, and Patti is still curious.

"I'm gay." It's silent. 

Then my mother stands up sharply. 

My father says "Ramayan you..." 

Patti says "what is that?"

"It's nothing, nothing. Amma, Ramayan is just jokin-" My mother quickly says.

"It means I like men. I like-" Patti doesn't understand the word 'like', I  inhale sharply again - "I'm in love with a man."

Ten minutes later I'm standing outside the hospital, scratching the back of my head. I guess I was kicked out. I wince recalling my mother's screaming. I suppose she'll be ignoring me again. Appa and Patti didn't know what to make of it, really. I mean, they won't be happy about it. But I'm financially independent, almost at least, so there's not much they can do. A for Patti's illness, I love her but..."how is her life dependent on you?!" Chen's words ring in my head. I sigh. That's right, it's not. Then, I turn and leave the hospital, glancing back one last time on my way out. I'll be back soon to visit you Patti. 

When I reach home Chen isn't there, naturally. I glance towards his empty room, Cao Cao's former location, then at the fridge. I let out a sigh. Is he coming back? I scoff at myself. What do you think Ram? After everything that's happened? Do I  even have a right to try to get him back? I don't know. Let's just take a nap. I walk to my room, yank my shirt off, and fall face first onto my bed. Sometime later I'm awoken by the doorbell. Yawning, I slowly trudge over before opening the door. Who could it be? Probably a delivery person. My family's pissed at me and who else would-

It's Chen. He's wearing the same clothes as earlier, gaze downcast and fingers fidgeting. As soon as I open the door he starts speaking: "I just came back to grab-" He sees me and chokes, his face fiercely flushing. I blink, then glance down to see my bare abs. Oh. Whoops.