ANIMAL | a yandere!mental patient x doctor!reader

Chapter Nine - Professional

A/N : Before I begin this chapter, thank you all so much for 1K reads!! Ahh this is my first book so it means so much to me <3 & I promise to try to upload more frequently!

"Yes, you're my doctor, Y/N. And you said your love was mine. Did- did you lie to me?"

. . .

"No, of course not," you blurted. You loved Ocean, but purely as his caretaker, or friend, even. Surely, that's what he meant. Ocean had let go of you now, and spun you around by the shoulders to face him. You couldn't meet his eyes for more than a few seconds, and gently pulled out of his grasp. You had to get this under control. "I do give all of my love to you, Ocean, but I don't want people to get the wrong idea, okay?"

"Wrong idea...?"

"You know Dr. Monroe," you started. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that June was watching the two of you attentively. "He's- well, he thinks that you and I might be, um, romantically involved. But, obviously, that's impossible. It's just this crazy idea that he has in his head." 

Ocean stared at you for a second. Then, he chuckled, the sound sending a chill down your spine. Without a word, he left your side, returning to what he was doing before. You breathed a sigh of relief. You were right, he didn't mean anything more than purely platonic love. Although, you couldn't help noticing that you felt... disappointed? You pushed the thought from your head and continued to sweep, humming as you brushed the leaves outside. 

Your relief was quickly slipping away. Ocean had been silent for an unusual amount of time, and he didn't make any contact with you as he followed you and June back inside. When you asked him if he was feeling okay, he only nodded. He even insisted on eating his own lunch and dinner, alone, while you waited with June. Of course, he was probably trying to make it clear that nothing was going on, but it was unnerving to see him acting so differently. While it was nice to be able to talk with June more, you realized that you missed talking to Ocean, and if you were being honest, you kind of missed his hugs.

After taking his dinner tray down to the cafeteria, you went back into his room. He was against the left wall with his arms around his legs, and you sat against the opposite one. You took out a sketchpad and a pencil, beginning to make light marks on the heavy paper. Ocean ignored you for the a while, but eventually, he gave in to curiosity and asked,

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting until you're ready to tell me," you replied simply, trying to get the shape of Ocean's eyes just right. You had taken portrait drawing for your mandatory art credit in college, but eyes still took you a few tries. Ocean liked to paint, so you planned on gifting him the mixed-media sketchpad with your drawing of him inside. He clenched his jaw in response and looked away. You considered leaving, but that would be giving up. 

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you," he said in a tight voice. Then, after visibly trying to restrain himself, "Maybe you should get the fuck out."

You stiffened up. It wasn't that you were sensitive to language, but you were caught off-guard. Ocean had never cursed before, even when he had nearly given you a concussion. For some reason, you strained to hold back tears. It was strange, you swore you didn't cry so easily.

"If you really want-"

"Wait, Y/N, I'm sorry," he cut in when he saw your expression. "I- I didn't mean it."

"It's okay, Ocean," you replied, clearing your throat to get rid of the soreness.

After a moment of mutual silence, he said, "I know the star thing is out of batteries, but can you make it darker?"

"Sure."

You smiled inwardly, glad he was finally talking to you again, and covered the lights. You sat back down, and to your pleasant surprise, Ocean stood up and moved beside you. You reached up and ran a hand through his hair, which he seemed to not oppose as he leaned into your touch.

"Ocean?"

"Mhm?"

"Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"If that guy leaves," he said in a low tone, gesturing at the door. You knew he meant June. 

"Okay," you granted, standing up. "I'll go get him to leave,"

You cracked open the steel door, stepping through but holding it so it wouldn't fully close. When you asked June to leave, he gave you an uneasy look, saying that it wasn't a good idea. You reassured him that it was going to be fine. You went back inside to see Ocean lying on the ground.

"You could just use your bed, you know," you said playfully. 

"Well, since you can't lay down with me in bed, we can just lay on the ground together," he answered, proud of his work-around.

"I don't-" 

"Please?"

"Okay," you gave in, laying yourself down beside him. He made no motion to grab your hand like he normally did, so you took his hand into yours, rubbing your thumb over his. "So, what's bothering you, Ocean?"

"I just," he trailed off, hesitant. He put his other hand over his face, as if to block out non-existent light. "I need to ask you something."

"Anything."

"What- uh, how do you feel about me, Y/N?"

You didn't answer immediately. You knew what you should say, but somehow it didn't feel entirely right. You paused to think. How did you feel about Ocean?

"I'm really glad I have you as my patient," you finally said. A vague answer was the best option. 

"And?" he asked expectantly. 

"What do you mean, 'and'?"

"Well, today you said that it was impossible for us to have romantic feelings for each other," he gradually grew quieter as he went on. "But, I... I think have feelings for you. In a romantic way."

Your eyes widened, and you sat up in shock, your hand leaving Ocean's. You didn't fully process what Ocean had just said. You had to be hearing him wrong, or he could just be confused. You had taken care of him for a while now, and you did have a bond, after all. It just wasn't like that. He looked up at you, hope in his baby-blue eyes. When you didn't say anything, his face fell, and he added,

"Or is it just some crazy idea in my head?"

"Ocean, I-" you stumbled. You didn't know what you were supposed to think. For a second, you felt a light, warm feeling inside. He loved you? You tried hard to forget about that warm feeling. "Maybe we shouldn't-"

"Would you ever want to be with me, Y/N? Or would you pick June in a heartbeat?"

He was sitting up now, too, and waited for your answer intently.

"I've never thought about it," you managed to get out. It was the truth. But now that you were thinking about it, the choice was a lot less clear than you had expected. 

"Please, just tell me if you feel the same."

"I can't do that, Ocean, I'm sorry."

Every word was like stabbing yourself in the heart. Professional, you reminded yourself. You're remaining professional. No matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you were doing the right thing, you still felt a pang of sadness in your chest. You hated yourself for saying what you did. Was it because it hurt you to see him hurt or was it because...

"I know you love me, too," Ocean whispered. "Don't worry, I'll wait until you're ready to tell me."