Crimson (homestuck)

increase your cool by 40%

You suppressed your snickers with a firm hand planted over your own mouth. No way were you going to screw this one up! The prank was entirely golden. You bit down on your lower lip; a habit you knew exposed your horribly bucked teeth even more, and leaned forward ever so silently. “John…” you froze but the slumbering figure before you remained asleep thus quelling your disappointment. You shifted your weight to your knees and slowly moved to grasp the black wire frames of Dave’s shades between the thumb and index of your left hand.

He didn’t stir, just stayed relaxed in the comfortable position leaning against the cushioned periwinkle material of the sofa in your living room with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs propped on the coffee table in front of him. The same table that was littered with soda bottles, candy wrappers, and three bags of popcorn, one barely touched but now abandoned. You hadn’t paid it much attention since your absolutely favorite most amazingly awesome part in the best movie ever had rolled across your TV for the zillionth time. Oh and Dave had fallen asleep about ten minutes into his twelfth time watching Con-Air so he hadn’t been there to jeer with you.

Which was why you had to get revenge with the most wickedly cool prank ever. That and the curiosity was excruciating of course.  Another reason why you now were kneeling beside him on the couch and vehemently attempting to remove his shades without him waking up. You knew if he did and caught you in the act he would probably disown you as his best friend and long standing partner in ill pranks because the only idea more ludicrous than a shadless Strider was a movie starring Nic Cage that you hadn’t seen more than ten times. So you were determined more than anything, obviously.

You watched in anticipation as the shades slide from his pale face to reveal his perfectly normal eyelids above the slightly freckled skin of his nose. You froze in place before suddenly jumping in silent howl of victory that shook the couch enough to arouse him. And of course at that you abruptly stopped all movements; fist that clutched the dark glasses held in the air and other hand shooting out to steady yourself on the back of the sofa. He slumped into the couch a bit more while a strand or two of his blonde hair fell into his face however besides that minor dissimilarity; he seemed fully unaroused from his deep sleep.

You prided yourself on a job well done, bro fisting the air and reaching up to quickly remove your own glasses. Of course these you actually used to see and not to obscure what you saw with as Dave did. But you were John Egbert, prank master and movie extraordinaire, and you were definitely going to try on these sick shades. You sat back on your heels still kneeling beside the oblivious blonde while you carelessly tossed your glasses somewhere on the couch in front of you. Then it hit you, another massively entertaining joke.

You quickly stuck the wire frame of the shades between your teeth because frankly you knew that if you put them down without your own glasses on that they would magically disappear under your nose without a single trace. It had happened before with your own glasses and you knew better than to foolishly trust the deviously cynical frames. Except now you had to calm yourself, quell your glee and meticulously place your glasses on his face without disturbing his unconsciousness.  Something you were realizing to be quite a feat with your excitement.

However you got the job done and now you sat back and gazed in triumph at the absolutely adorable Strider in front of you. Without the intimidating shades and added a bit of dorky specs to his innocently oblivious face made him look extremely…cute. You grunted and mentally kicked yourself for thinking such a thing about your best friend, your best male friend. You were not, under any circumstances, going to decide to be homosexual. Nope. no curves for this bean pole. All straightness and right fucking angles.

But he did look reealllyyy adorab- nope! Haha look at you actually entertaining such off limits thoughts of such a blatant homosexual manner! Now here you were in a completely unnecessary gay-panic!  Haha! How uncalled for! Get back to the mission at hand before you start puking rainbows and organizing your linens appropriately!