growth.

need?

do i still need you?
my heart is telling me yes, and my mind is saying no. i yet to have control over my feelings, even if it's been 4 months now. 4 months 17 days to be exact. i should stop counting but it's a habit, you know that.
you know everything about me, and i think that's what truly scares me about letting you go. it's like letting go of yourself. i believe a part of me left when you did, and now i don't know how to live.
i still wonder about you. not as much as i used to but i do. i wonder if you still think about me, or if you miss me. i mostly think about it at night but i won't admit that to anyone. i finally started leaving the house though, i walk to the park. it's comforting in a way. it's peaceful. it's not full of memories about you.
maybe that's why i continue to go there, because when i'm there i stop thinking about you, just for a moment.