Falling (Reki/Langa)

-4-

Reki was staring out the window, trying to sort out his thoughts. There was nothing he wanted to do more than apologize to Langa. He regretted kissing him so much, that it made his stomach churn. He'd made up his mind. 

Did time always pass this slowly? Reki sometimes counted down the seconds until class was over, but even the most boring classes didn't compare to today. It seemed like the clock was only there to torture him. The hands of it ticking in time with his loudly beating heart. It didn't help that he hadn't been able to eat all day. 

So when the bell finally rang, Reki got up immediately and grabbed Langa by his arm. He pulled his friend along, until they were alone. Reki was hesitant to let go and decided to hold on for a bit longer.

"Look Langa", he began "I'm -"

"It's disgusting, isn't it?" Langa harshly interrupted. Reki's heart sank. Fuck. Langs hated him. Of course he'd be disgusted. Who wouldn't be, after being kissed by their best friend? He imagined how betrayed Langa must have felt. He thought he was safe and then Reki went along and did that...

"We should just... Forget about it." Reki offered, fighting back tears. He had let go of Langa's hand. 

"Will you be able to forget?" Langa asked. 

Reki thought about it. Would he be able to forget he liked Langs? Would he be able to pretend like the sensation of his friends lips against his own didn't feel like heaven?

"Yes, I will.", He lied.

"I'm sorry." 

Reki wasn't sure what Langa was apologizing for.

"Me too."

A pause.

"Let's not meet up for a while." Langa whispered. "It will help you forget about me."

And that was it. For some reason, before Langa said that, Reki had still been trying to convince himself that it had been a miscommunication. That some weird coincidence had happened, and that Langa didn't know he kissed him. 

But Langa had confirmed his worst fear. Forget about me, he said.

Langa knew about everything, and he was disgusted.

And despite that, he was still willing to give Reki a chance. How kind. Fuck, he really didn't deserve his kindness, did he? 

"Thanks Langa.", He choked out.

I love you, Reki thought.

"I'll forget about you.", Reki said as he looked up. Langa met his eyes. Reki didn't hold back his tears anymore, when he saw his friends eyes were puffy. He hadn't dared look at Langa all day. he'd been terrified. And now that he finally did look at him he felt horrible. He didn't want to see Langa this sad. With tear tracks down his face, and his shoulders tense. But it was his fault.

And despite everything, Langa still looked beautiful. And Reki would do anything for him, he realised. Even if it meant bottling up his own feelings. He'd make this right.

 "Well then.", Reki sniffled. "See you when things are normal again?" He tried to sound cheerful, but it came out unsure. His voice was hoarse, after all. Reki swallowed and turned around. He walked away in a haze, not entirely sure where he was going.

He didn't know what to do either. Normally he'd go skating to clear his head, but how could he go without Langa? How could he even go home, without imagining Langa on his couch? 

He'd reached the schoolyard, when a familiar voice called out to him.

"...Langa?"

Reki turned around, his face one big mess of snot and tears. He must look pathetic. 

"Reki.", Langa panted.

"I don't think I want you to forget."