After effects

Chapter 7

I think I’ve hit rock bottom now. I just can't do it anymore. The blood runs down my thigh and I feel a sense of relief like everything is seeping out of me with the blood, taking away all of my problems with it, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I want to feel like this all the time but I stop myself because the thought of me not just hurting myself but hurting my friends and family makes me stop as I couldn't bare to do that to them, especially to Liz. I have to be strong for her. I know that if I lost her I wouldn’t know how to cope with it so how would she cope with it. I put my blade away with my hand shaking like my body did not want me to stop. I had to stop even if I didn't want to. I have to distract myself. I start cleaning my room with my music blaring but my hands would not stop shaking so I kept dropping everything. My body wanted me to go pick up the blade again and feel the relief but I have to control myself. I couldn't stop thinking about it but I had to. I called Harry, I didn't want to tell Liz because I need to be there for her, not be adding my problems to hers. After talking to him for about an hour he ended up coming over. We sat there watching movies and cuddling and that’s all I needed at the moment, I needed my Hazzabear. He was the love of my life and I didn't want anyone else. He makes me happy and that’s all I need, someone to cheer me up, someone to lean on, to rely on, a source of light in my life. He knows how to make me happy.

Haz and I have been thinking about coming out at school now too, our closest friends all know as well as our families but we’re sick of having to hide at school and not being able to go out on proper dates and hold hands, we want freedom, to be a proper couple. I think we will, there’s nothing stopping us, worse case scenario would be a few people are homophobic and bully us but we have Zayn and Liam, who are both on the football team, Liam’s the captain, to look out for us. And we have our little Irish Leprechaun; Niall who is very protective and won’t let anyone hurt us.

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AN: This is as good as it is because of my best friend Jacinta who is my Liz (she is not Liz from the book) she is really good at writing and I hope you like it. if you like it please go to Jacintas profile and follow her as she is currently working on a book ,her name is LarryHaveAnal. haha I know weird name. Thank you for reading and fav please if you enjoyed it.