Why is nothing ever constant in life?
Why do things seem to fade away?
But can we blame life?
No.
When life itself isn't constant, why would the things in it be constant?
One moment you are smiling and laughing with someone, the next moment they're gone.
One moment you're enjoying something, the next it's gone.
This is basically the cycle of life.
Nothing is ever constant.
It is a proven fact, and my life proved this fact.
My life seems to follow every single theorem, every single law, but one.
Life just isn't fair.
Life is pain.
Pain.
Everyone thinks it is physical discomfort.
I laugh.
Pain is the physical, emotional, and psychological exhaustion caused by tragic, unexpected events.
I would know.
Because that's exactly how I feel right now basking in the solitude of my once lively room.
It was lively when my sister was alive.
When I was alive.
When she died, I died.
Not physically.
But in more ways than one.
A stray tear escapes my eyes as I clutch the already wet sheet on my bed.
A knock on the door breaks me from my state of misery.
"Dayton" My mom calls from the other side.
"Go away" My voice is muffled by the pillow my face is currently buried in.
"Day, please." Her voice cracks at the end and it prompts me to almost get up to open the door for her.
"What do you want?" I ask with a wavering voice.
"Day, I just want to talk."
"No. No mom, you don't get to do that. You don't get to act like you actually cared about her when she was here."
"Day..."
"No. Every time we needed you, you were never there. You put your job before your own children and now you're here pretending like you've been here all along?"
"Day..."
"No. Listen to me, mom. You don't get to grieve over her. You were never there to watch her suffer. You were never there to see how fiercely she fought. You were never there the day she died. You never were." By the time I was done I was full-on sobbing.
"Day, please"
"Just go, mom."