I live alone

Part 4

"Well, someone had time to change" I heard from behind my back right as I was pulling the key out of the door.

I turned around and saw...how is it possible that I agreed to go on a date with a guy I didn't know the name of?

"That's kind of a funny story actually"I chuckled"But I also just realized that I didn't quite catch your name"

"I didn't quite catch yours either"he answered with a cheeky smile"It's Louis. And you are...?"

"Harry. Nice to meet you" I smiled back.

He was so pretty.

"Likewise" Louis gave me his arm, which I happily locked with mine at the elbows"Have you thought of where should we go yet?"

"I was thinking we could go to this small garden-styled place, right around the corner"

"Lead the way then"

We came through the back, right into the outside section of the bar and sat down at a table situated in the corner. I couldn't help but just stare and take in the beauty of this place.

Fairy lights intertwined with vines, strung across the wooden frame above, gracefully twirling down the beams just to dissappear into the huge flower pots containing blooming carnations, set in front of each one.

"You are a man of taste I see"said Louis while looking around and smiling lightly" 'm not too surprised though" he winked at me again

"Good evening gentlemen, what can I get for you?" the waitress' question helped me shift my focus from my burning, red cheeks

"I'll take the virgin tequila sunrise, please"I answered handing her the menu

"Same here" he said doing the same, and looking right at me" So, when did you move here?"

The memories of the actual move ran through my head.

Josh and I choosing the flat, decorating it, kissing in the still-empty kitchen on the first night and dancing between the boxes we never fully unpacked, just stuffed beneath the furniture wherever they could fit, just so he could take them as they were barely days ago.

I shook my head to get rid of the empty feeling before it filled me again.

"Less than a year ago, but I'd very much rather hear something about you, since I pretty much only know your name and that you like virgin tequila sunrises as well" I answered evasively.

"Well, I came here just last month, so everything is quite new. I got into a music program at the local uni, I'm continuing my acting degree, I work at the bookstore right down the street from your shop, that's why I come over so often"he took a sip from his drink that I failed to notice the appearance of "What 'bout you, are you doing something besides being the best barista I've ever encountered?"

"I'm actually on a gap year currently, I was halfway through my English degree but some shit went down and I just needed a break, so I'm serving coffee and tutoring on the side"

„Kids?"
The word echoed through my head.
At once I was transported to christmas.
Wrapping paper crumbled and torn up all over the floor, Josh's entire family sat in the living room, I watched him play with his niece. She was giggling as he talked in a squeaky voice through a patchwork dog plushie untill her mum came over to feed her and he sat back next to me and I whispered „I can't wait to start a family with you". He smiled with tears in his eyes, kissed me and started brainstorming baby names. He really wanted...

„Where'd you go?" Louis' voice startled me
„I-I'm sorry, yeah, I, uhm, do" I stumbled and cleared my throat „I do, mostly younger kids or ones that recently moved here with their parents and need some help with their grammar"
„That only answers the first question" his icy blue eyes fixed on my face
„What do you mean?" I really hoped I could play dumb
„You drift off. Where do you go?"
Cold sweat dripped down my back, my throat started closing up. What am I supposed to say? I can't just drop months worth of heartbreak on a stranger. He looks so soft with his chocolate brown hair softly falling on his forehead. He deserves so much better than this shell of a man.
„Harry? Are you okay?" my name sounded so beautiful coming from his perfectly shaped lips
„Yeah" my voice sounded odd „ I'm really sorry, Louis. I think I have to go" I checked my watch „I have to feed my cat. It was so nice meeting you, Hazelnut" fuck „Louis. See you around?"
I finally met his gaze and saw a mixture of confusion and worry quickly replaced by a soft half-smile.
„Surely. I can't risk anyone else nicknaming me by my coffee habits" his now full smile made my hands shake as I tried to dig out crinkled cash from my pocket „Don't worry, Sunrise, I got it" he said reaching for his wallet.
„Sunrise?" I asked, only making the connection after a second „Oh right" I smiled 
„Eye for an eye" he answered, winking at me"I hope to see more of that beautiful smile next time." My cheeks flushed
„Yeah. Next time" I exhaled and waved as I walked away.
I don't even know when I started sobbing but suddenly I found myself with my back against a wall, tears stinging my eyes, barely able to breathe. I completely fucked everything up.

I hate it here