Ikigai [Taegyu] ✔️

Chapter 05 : The first stage

(you can listen to <your eyes tell> by BTS or <fine> by Taeyeon or <maze in the mirror> by TXT while reading this chapter)

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B

eomgyu is now sitting on the floor while Yeonjun and Soobin are cuddling on the sofa. Honestly, he couldn't even focus on the movie they're watching. The movie is about a boy fell in love with another boy without knowing his own identity wether he's gay or straight. It was suppose to be a fluffy and cuddly movie but it was the opposite for Beomgyu. He couldn't feel any emotions at all. He stirs the hot chocolate with his finger. He stares at the cup for a long time as his mind wanders somewhere. He's in a deep thought.

Kang Taehyun

Kang Taehyun

Kang Taehyun

Every second every minute he couldn't get his mind off the younger. He feels worried, anxious, anger, sad, lonely. The Valentine is meant to be celebrated with your beloved ones but here he is, sitting on the cold floor third-wheeling YeonBin. He looks at his brother and his brother-in-law on the sofa. The two were cuddling each other inside a warm comfy blanket to cover their bodies. He smiles faintly at the two. He's glad his brother had found his real soulmate. Soobin really is perfectly matched with Yeonjun. Two different unique people and matched with each other. In other words, they're mate. Soobin is sleeping while resting his head on Yeonjun's shoulder and the oldest among the three is focusing on the movie while stuffing his cheeks with popcorns.

Yeonjun hyung is lucky to have Soobin.

(A/n: oh hun, you're so very lucky to have Taehyun as your fiance)

Beomgyu then excuse himself to go to the toilet. As he arrived, he close and locked the door. He leans against the door as his tears are flowing down his cheeks. He had never felt this hurt. Beomgyu is the type to bottle up his feelings until one certain day (just like today) he couldn't manage to bottle up his feelings he will fall into a massive heartbreak. He collapsed on the floor, as his knees are getting weak. Soft sobs escape from his mouth. Everytime after their arguments Taehyun is the first one to apologise, Beomgyu would forgive the younger. Of course, being the imperfect human he is, Taehyun would sometimes throw harsh words to Beomgyu and the older was hurt by his words. But, Beomgyu covers them all with his smile. He's not the type to hold grudges. But now, it's Valentine and Beomgyu was so excited that he bought gifts for the younger and even prepared a fancy dinner for the both of them. Why? Because it's their first Valentine with each other after their engagement. Of course, being the bubbly person he is, Beomgyu would feel excited. But in return, Taehyun didn't even come home. After everything he had done for the younger. Why? Is he that clingy so Taehyun don't want to come home on Valentine? Does Taehyun feels suffocated being around Beomgyu? Does the younger still loves him? Even when planning their engagement, it was Beomgyu who does everything. Taehyun is just agreeing with him.

"Why? Is he disgusted by the way I show my affections towards him?"

Beautiful clear crystals coming out from his eyes, as his sobs is getting louder. He gets up with the help of his hand gripping on the sink. He looks at the mirror and he could see his puffy eyes, red cheeks, red nose and wet cheeks self on the mirror. He looks down as tears are raining down from his eyes. He loves him. He loves the younger so much that even a small thing could break his heart. Their first Valentine together, is ruined.

"What did I do wrong that he doesn't even come home for our first Valentine after our engagement?"

You could clearly hear the cracks in his voice.