It's been a week, a whole week of mopping around of being close to everyone yet so distant. I felt and acted like a puppet that's on repeat at all times wake up shower get in cormfy sweats and laze around in bed feeling sorry for myself.
It had to stop one way or another that I was sure of but then how.
How will I get myself to forget all those years of my life and what happened to me even after warning myself. After risking it all however much my brain stopped me to, I had no one to blame but myself.
If only I'd have someone I could trust someone there for me who I was able to vent to I was starting to feel suffocated but then I just wasn't ready to risk it again and I never would it's better that way I guess if I didn't let them in then no one would be able to hurt me.....
Right?
Mustering up some energy I finally got out of bed and turned on my bluetooth speaker playing one of my favourite tracks these days.
"My diamonds leave with you,
Material love won't fool me
When you're not here I can breathe
Think I always knew
My diamonds leave with you......"
Once these lyrics hit me I felt better even if for a little while. I set it on repeat and started cleaning up my room then headed to have a much needed relaxing shower.
After about an hour of scrubbing myself thoroughly in the shower I decided I need to go appartment hunting today and start fresh with a clean slate in a new place. I grabbed on a pair of grey skinny jeans and a black hoodie, put on some lip gloss, switched of my speaker put my phone in my pocket and set of.
I left a note on the kitchen counter letting my cousin know am going out, hopefully today won't be a sad depressing day for me.
I shared an apartment with my cousin sister Daisy but then at times it felt like I shared that small space with a whole village she always had a bunch of her friends come over at all times and it was starting to get on my nerves alot lately.
.............................
Hey guys, am sorry if it's a lil bleh trying my best here. Incase of any spelling or grammar errors please excuse me and accept my apology. Please do share you're thoughts about this and keep the comments coming.
Show some love to you're girl, don't be stingy😉
Stay blessed my loves
~Smizzy~
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