all for us | connie springer

five

chapter 5
a world full of unknown

3 THREE YEARS AGO

you listened to hange tell everyone about zeke yeagers plan, although you weren't paying close attention like you alway did because last night after telling sasha you confessed to connie and started dating she couldn't shut up about it and didn't really let you sleep though you didn't mind it.

and what you didn't know was that connie had kept jean up since he was too excited to sleep after what happened, as well rubbing it in jeans face about him getting a girlfriend before him.

the days were fun , learning more and more of the unknown world.

everyone was being naive but for some reason you didn't want to acknowledge it.

you wanted to stay that away for as long as you could.

maybe it was selfish and childish of you but you didn't really care.

        -

"is this stuff edible?" she said as she observed the table of food they've never seen before.

"what is this?"

"is this your first time having seafood, nicolo is a master of marleyan cooking" the tall lady spoke.

"damn it why do i have to do it, you eldians are free not to eat it. why would i want any of you to-"

"HEY NO FAIR" you and jean yelled out seeing sasha grab the biggest thing on the table

"mister nicolo , you're a genius" sasha said with tears rolling down her eyes causing you to bust out laughing.

"learn some manners" the man said bringing more food.

"i've never had anything like this" she said still crying

"there's still some more , there's no need to rush" connie said.

yet those days were the calm before the storm

PRESENT TIME

you sat on the grass as you saw them pull out the lifeless body of your best friend out of the ship.

it didn't feel real , like it was all a nightmare.

just a couple hours you were hugging her and telling how much she meant to you and now she was gone.

you looked over at connie how had the same expression as you did.

connie went over to you and put his arms around you and held you tight.

you felt completely numb , nothing felt real like a never ending nightmare that you so desperately wanted to wake up from.

you went back to the room you shared with sasha and just stared at her bed.

she should've been sleepy soundly in her bed right now, her snores filling up the room.

how could the most sweetest person be gone?

your loud sobs made everyone go to your room but the room was locked

all you wanted to do is scream, cry and yell.

and that you did, part of you felt bad for being so disruptive but how could you calm down, it feels like half of your heart as been ripped out.

how could any of this be normal but this was your world.

the only normal you've know for as long as you could remember.

but now the normal you've known is gone.

"hey love, can you please open the door" you heard through your cries.

you slowly got up and unlocked the door.

you just stared at him with bloodshot eyes, you noticed his puffy eyes.

you felt guilty for not conforming him or even asking if he was okay, you knew he wasn't but you felt bad.

he held your hand and brought you to his room, locking the door behind him.

you sat on his bed not knowing what to say or do

he sat down next to you and just brought you into his arms.

you held him even tighter and cried for a while.

"connie you can't leave me, you can't leave me. you can't die"

"and i won't "

"you can't, i won't be to even live without you. she's gone connie, she is my best friend and she's gone. she was just here, we were going home" you said in between sobs

you couldn't understand how it happened, like someone was playing a sick joke on you.

"listen to me, she wouldn't want us to be crying like this and you know it. she'd be wanting us to get back up and fight for her and everyone else we lost"

"i can't do it, i can't do this any more"

"i honestly can't either but we have no choice"

"what if we just leave, connie we can leave"

"you know we can't, there no place we can go"

"we can go south, there must be a little village there and we can build a new life there"

"come on, you're not being realistic. we can't leave our friends here like this especially after tonight."

" i just can't do this anymore, i can't go through this feeling again" you said quietly knowing he was right

"and you won't, i'll make sure of it"

"i love you so much, i can't lose you"

"you won't because i love you too much to leave you here alone. as long as i'm alive i will protect you"

"i'll protect you too"

"now let's try to sleep for a little bit okay"

"yeah ok"

-

the funeral was held the next morning commemorating everyone we had lost.

you've been to many funerals but it was never for someone this close to you.

you just kept hoping you'd wake up from this terrible nightmare.

you sat down next to mikasa and just sat in silence.

she laid her head on your shoulder

no words were said but you both were thinking the same thing.

we have to keep going and fighting for her.

you wanted to give up, but you knew you couldn't.
not after everything

"hey! you're a marleyan aren't you?! why the hell are you here. what business do you have at a funeral for an eldian killed by marley?"

"please wait, we'll take care of him" you heard jean tell the solider.

" are you okay nicolo, how did you get here?" you asked as he was still on the ground.

"did sasha really die?" he asked desperately

"they said a girl snuck on the ship and shot her? how could that possible happen" he asked staring at sasha grave"

"she was no ordinary girl, she'd been trained"

"a warrior cadet?"

"we'd let our guard down, im sorry"

"why are you apologizing to me? all i did was cook for her"

"thank you for feeding her such good food" you told him

"what should you y/n?

" she was like my sister, it feels like i lost half of me" you said teary up as you felt connie hand rub your back.

"i understand you did a lot for my daughter" sasha's father said as him and his family walked up to the grave.

you hugged her mother and kaya as they cried in your arms breaking your heart even more.