Pondovadia: World I Love, Tears I Drop

Chapter Fourteen: What do You Consider Fun?

October 19, 302X

12:45 PM

Monongahela University Downtown Library. Five stories tall, brown and white Greek inspired architecture. Gold and blue rhododendrons framed the marble entrance. Unlike the rest of Mon Uni, the library is frozen in time. Many students congregate on the first floor, such as a certain blue beaver in a cardigan...

"I can't believe Bell entered that stupid ass raffle without telling me" Klarisse muttered to herself as she checked her emails for anything important. Graduation applications, no that's for next semester IF they don't suddenly change around the requirements for creative writing. A drunk email from a student she wasn't even teaching this semester? Probably some animal trying to hit on her, the beaver thought to herself. She put her white earbuds into her ears and pulled up a lo-fi hip hop stream. Now she could focus on grading papers from fanfiction analysis. Geez, this student writes like someone who was drunk, stoned, and high at the same time! Sure, ignorance was the reason that humans killed a bunch of sharks after Jaws, but really?! Fanfiction about cheating is going to promote cheating in real life?! This is exactly the opposite of what she's been teaching this entire semester!

A notification dinged in her ears. She hated that sound but if she muted her laptop, she wouldn't be able to hear her lo-fi stream. Ugh, what is it now?

"Congratulations, Klarisse Woodrow" the email read. "You won this week's homecoming raffle. Here's your three tickets for the game Saturday against Lone Star University!"

".....You gotta be fucking kidding me" Klarisse thought to herself. She had way more papers to grade that weekend. Oh well, she could at least dump the tickets onto Bell and her friends and have the weekend to herself.

----

2:43 PM

Bell, Ponce, and Toshi were sitting on the school subway seats and watching a video on a theory about one of their favorite anime. They had the volume turned up since they were the only animals in the car that day. The phone bounced around in Bell's hands as the subway zoomed faster through the underground tunnel.

"That's bullshit," Toshi scoffed. "The whole 'ooo the series takes place in a coma' thing's been overdone since humans were around"

"Ugh, tell me about it" Bell rolled her eyes. Her phone buzzed in her arms. She turned her phone around and swiped up to see what Klarisse sent her. Oh, sweet, football tickets!

"Huh, congratulations" Ponce leaned over to read the text. "And here I was thinking you'd get grounded for using her email"

"Yeah, I thought so too," Bell laughed. "Hey maybe if I'm lucky, those Mon Uni kids will think I'm her"

"I mean, the upperclassmen will be drunk enough, sure, but what about the freshmen?" Toshi snorted.

The beaver snorted back "They're college kids, Toshi! They can just smuggle in their own booze. And besides, there's a damn good reason Mon Uni's the number one party school in America!"

-----

October 21

2:02 PM

"So anyways class" Mr. Ursus was giving a lecture. He was pacing around next to the projector and clicking through several slides "A bastard is simply a kid whose parents weren't married when they were born"

Leila raised her hand

"Mr. Ursus, with all due respect, what does any of this have to do with the government again?"

"Oh, well, Leila" the grizzly bear darted his eyes away. "There's still the ongoing scandal regarding Mayor Canadendrum and his illegitimate children, so I figured I'd explain the concept of bastardry. Anyone else have a question"