Sunday,February 18
After I went to sleep last night I dreamed of being in Cali and going to the beach surfing and having fun. I was so excited to get out. I woke up at 9 am and of course Lance texted me 20 times how he was sorry and he loved me. I feel I over reacted but he was kind of forcing me. I said stop and he would'nt but should I have let him. I loved him and he loved me. He treated me right and most girl's have lost thier virginity already anyway. Would it be a big deal if he took mine. The question was did we love each other enough and did he respect me enough? Anyway I got a Smores poptart and milk and then texted Stacey because I wanted to see her before I leave. I started packing and what I brought was my Brandy Melville LA tank, some Forever 21 shirts,my sparkly shirt with LOVE written on it, a couple sweaters from Forever 21, Victoria's Secret and Hollister, jeans and yoga pants, pajamas, my Wildfox Jumper, and under garments. I got all my makeup and toiletries together and after I used them tomorrow I would throw them in my bag. I also was planning to bring me Mac Book, Camera, notebooks, pencils, chargers, some books,and money I have been saving. I heard the door bell and looked and it was Lance. He told me he loved me and please forgive him. I told him I would but not to force me ever again and he promised. We kissed and kissed and snuggled for a while. He the said he needed to leave because his Grandma was in the hospital. I wished him luck for his Grandma and then he left. I baked me and Stacey some cheese ravioli because she should be coming soon. Five minute later Stacey came and we ate the cheese ravioli. I told her about my up coming trip and what had happened with Lance last night. She told me I did not deserve that and she had something to tell me. She told me there has been a rumor going around that he has been hanging around with Hannah Weathers ( a girl in my grade ). I told her it was not true and she kept insisting it was. I finally got my emotions going again and told her I wanted her to leave. When my emotions clog up I need people to leave because I don't want people to see me cry. She told me she understood and to call her later. I started to cry again and could not help myself. I started to watch A Walk To Remember and cried and cried. That movie makes me tear up. I don't cry that often but lately I have been sad and thinking more about my dad and more about my relationship. As my mom would call it I was going through a teenage phase and it would pass. But I did not really know would it get better for me or worse?
Author Notes: Cody will come in soon sorry for the delay :) If you have anything you don't like tell me?
