The last snowdrop

Chapter 3

SIENA

"Oh doll, that is some useless threat you have there."

"It is not useless, in two months I am going to give my bar exam and trust me when I tell you that the minute I do, you are done. It does not matter how many fancy lawyers you hire, there is no ground for your suit.

You have never faced someone like me Hyder."

"If you want to make this a threat, okay. I am in, doll. Two can play this game and if it is you then I have a worthy opponent."

"You are just a white entitled male that was never told no from his mommy and daddy."

My fists tighten on command and my whole body is buzzing ready to pounce on him at any time. I just want to wipe that smug smile of his face and...and... goddamn it, why did his face had to be handsome?

"Looking at something you like, doll?"

"Yes, but I would just like you to leave as soon as possible and never have to see that face again."

He takes one step towards me and his fingers brush on the side of my face, dropping down on the neck. His face comes closer till I can feel his lips brushing next to my ear.

"I don't believe you, we were both looking for each other. I never let go of my dreams, doll. And you are one of them."

"The picture-perfect girl you made up in your mind is just a fantasy that you can jerk off at night. I am bound to disappoint your expectative. So back off and go get another dream and another café."

"No can do, I will see you both in court in two weeks or before if you decide to ask me out. The phone number is on the business card. I hope you decide to take me out, I bet I can change your idea of me."

"I don't need to change my idea. You can take your lawyers and your business card out of here and never come back."

He drops his hand to brush against mine and then turns back towards the entrance, the people inside the café are all listening to us and enjoying are little fighting show.

He leaves and I am left in the middle of the room, my mind goes fuzzing and I remember to breath at that moment.

Once I get back into my small apartment, I can relieve all of the tension in my body with a run, while the rest of the night is spending in studying and revieing the suit and the evidence they are presenting.

He might have a chance at this if I cannot delay the trial for at least three months.

At around 10 Pm my phone starts ringing and after searching for it all over the room I find it under the bed and manage to take the call.

"Are you okay darling?"

"Yes Jane, no need to worry about me. I will make this right.

Tomorrow I need to take the day off, I will try to come few hours in the morning, but I need to go and file for a deferral for the first hearing."

"It's okay. You don't need to stress yourself over this, we will find a solution to the problem. The only problem we cannot solve is death."

"You still quote Alya ... I miss her."

"Always, a love like that changes your life forever and I hope you will find someone like that."

"I hope to, but I am fine being alone at the moment. I will see you tomorrow."

I leave the phone on the bed and finally get in the shower to let cold water fall on my skin. The drops follow the curves of my body and jump over the scars marking my skin, they are of a pale pink contrasting my darker complexion. The only reminder of my family is the particular colour of my skin, a mix between my mother's heritage and my father's history.

Some days I just wish I could scrub it away, erase the memories that come with it. When I was small, my only problem was not feeling like I belong to neither of my ethnicities, I have long discovered that it was the least of my problems.

My skin allowed me to survive, my body put itself together and everyday carries the pain of my past with so much strength.

My mind is quiet now, the cold water helps me in shifting my pain from the inside to the superficial layers. In a way it is a mode of self-harm, a reminder of the comfort that pain once brought me and the felling of weakness after such a strong wave of emotions.

Would he like such a marked skin? Bruises covering every inch of my thighs just so I can prevent another escape from this place.

I am broken, but I don't need fixing. I learned to love myself, no matter how many pieces I lost along the way.

The alarm rings in the distance, bringing me back to reality. It has been ringing for 20 minutes now and when I get out of the shower I let the water drops fall to the ground.

It is easy to let go of pain, but what they don't tell you, is that it always comes back. And it comes during night, it insinuates itself slowly through your dreams till your body is shaking.

The next morning it is all mechanical, I get ready and head for the café. When I get the door to open the place for the customers, he is there, and he stays in the café for few hours. At times he observes me, but mostly he types away on his computer or replies to calls. When he is frustrated with the caller, he passes a hand through his hair and tugs at it slowly.

Not that it matters to me.

He catches my gaze for a moment and his lips curve up, and when he comes up to the till, he makes sure to touch my fingers as much as he can.

"Lunch tomorrow at 1 Pm with me?"

"I would rather die."

"Dramatic."

"Pathetic."

"I will still ask you out tomorrow. I make time in my day to have some fun and you are a great source of entrainment."

"Unfortunately, I do not make time for assholes."