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4

                CHELSEA'S POV

I wake up with dried eyes the next morning as the morning sun reflects on my face ,the time is not much spent and I also don't remember sleeping much yesterday but this sudden headache it's crazy like my brain is fighting with my skull to set it free . I feel the dried tears on my face as I lazily get off my bed and hed towards the shower .A cold shower would do a lot good right now especially to this banging brain of mine . I take my time to think about yesterday ,to think about my mom . It's 8:10 so she'd still be home or she might have changed her schedule who knows, since yesterday i don't feel like I know her anymore she seems like stranger I'm just getting to know and then my stomach starts grumbling Jeeezzz I haven't eating anything since the lunch I had with Andy yesterday afternoon at Mitchell's eatery. I grab my towel and walk to the room going through my same routine of dressing up.

"I don't want to give her any baby food I just want to feed her breast milk until she's at least one and half"I hear my mom's voice as I walked down the stairs I look sober but sad I know it I feel it also.

"Elsie, you are up early come sit we're having your favorite " she doesn't show concern towards me for a whole day and she's all brightened up this morning preparing one of my favorites like she gives a damn about me. I go closer to the dining room and the smell of food totally clears my anger and sadness , she always knows how to work her magic.

"Cheese sandwich"I scream, it's been so long since I had these, Dad's breakfast meals were strictly fruits and vegetables but here this is offered to me in a plate of gold. I kept thinking as my eyes were fixed on the Bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on the table I saw an extra plate then I remembered Andy always ate here as well ,she practically leaves here.

"You know honey, instead of dreaming of how much you miss my meals and how you can't wait to feast on them you could just sit down and eat " she whispered in my ears after watching me stand and stare for long .
"Yeah"I chuckled and sat down as she placed a kiss on my head ,my puffy hair was packed backwards making it easier for her to place the kiss .

"Where's Andy" I asked almost done with my meal and remembered my best friend was missing all the fun.
"Oooh she was here already, but her dad needed something so she left she'd soon be back honey " she smiled at me before screaming.
"My God Elsie, what's wrong with you"as she rushed up towards me and shoved me in her arms .This , this was what I missed this worry . I missed how she could tell something was off at the mere site of me but she only realized minutes later because she was busy breast feeding my new little sister.
"It's nothing mom" I rolled my eyes and continued with my food trying to pry away from her embrace. I just remembered how mad I was at her.
"It's not nothing baby look at your eyes all swollen , you can always talk to me you know right what happened" I rolled my eyes , I totally forgot there was a time I used to run to her with all my problems but it's different now I'm just a burden. I take a minute to look at Uncle Mark who has clearly been quiet for the past 30 minutes following his no talk while eating rule .I didn't mind if he was here, he was just like a father to me cause I can't remember not knowing him, he was always around when needed and when not ,he has heard my silly complains as a child more times than I can remember so I don't mind him being here .
I know I should have called you but my phone was down I just called Andy  at a phone booth cause I could still remember her number and you just gave me yours yesterday and silly Andy just won't give me the address cause she didn't want me to create a scene "she hit her hand on her head obviously disappointed . I believed her but a part of me still felt I had lost my mom as I looked at Uncle Mark and little Leslie in her sitter.
"Answer me baby, what happened where you bullied " of course that's what she'd be worried about I've never been able to stand for myself and I remembered always being bullied in middle school when Andy wasn't close.
"I'm fine mom, I just had too much to drink my head aches crazily but the food is helping , thanks Mom"I smiled at her.
"Well we'd have to rush up so we won't be late and we could get some drugs for you on the way honey"Mark finally spoke after clearing his dishes.
"Late for what".I asked confused, Mom wasn't going to work she'd spent more time than she should .
"Oooh Elsie your head must really hurt, It's Sunday we're going to church" ohh that's right church was always at 10:00 now I get why Leslie was dressed up all beautiful.

"I'm back" Andy yelled as she slammed the door behind her , her way of telling Mom she was hungry.
"Well it's about time , I was about to leave the dishing to Elsie we're almost late " she walked to the kitchen and dished Andy's food.
"I'm glad you didn't" she said with a grin.
"Where were you" I asked clearing my dishes.
"Ooh Dad just needed some drugs " she said rushing her food in her mouth.
"My God, is he okay"
"Yeah he's , It's not for him anyway it's for Tarmy". Tarmy is Andy's Chau Chau , I haven't met her thou Andy says her Dad got him three years ago.
"Well is she okay" I asked as I walked towards Leslie and picked her from the sitter .
"Yeah she just scratched herself while playing "Andy answered getting irritated by the constant questioning.
I looked at Leslie in my arms she was calm she was always calm I've known her for three days and I've barely heard her cry . She had brown hair just like my mom and her emerald eyes like Mark's , she was indeed beautiful looking at her I don't think I could hate her for being born and taking all my mom's attention for me I guess I'd just live with the bitter pain in my heart knowing what I'd missed, I want her to be happy I don't want her to ever feel unloved and uncared for like I did almost all my life ,so I guess  loosing my mom's care to this bundle of joy in my hands was actually worth it.
"Okay then I guess we'd be heading to church now , you both have fun okay "She took Leslie from me and pecked my cheeks after doing the same to Andy who was still feasting hungrily on her eggs and cheese sandwich.
"Well there goes my mom again, with her brand new family"I raised two of my fingers up.
"Okay what's wrong El , you've been acting this way since the party" she was finally done eating.
"What do you mean" I asked acting like I had no clue where she was driving at.
"You know what I mean, your mom hasn't done anything bad you know".
"Andy she fucked her best friend in my dad's fucking presence, she ruined my life .I should be like Leslie having to go to church with the both of them but no I'm here having to share my parents and I'm just seeing her after eleven years I bet she was a lot happy without me being here I'm just a burden on her and her pretty family's life". I burst everything out, I have never been so good at holding things especially not in front of Andy .
"Fine , what are you going to do about it" she was walking towards me now "Fly back to New York and live with your Dad in his big house and hang out with rich friends that don't give two fucks about you or get your own apartment and leave the woman who has been miserable for eleven years regretting how she'd never watch you grow up ". She was speaking calmly but I could sense the harshness in those words as she spoke.
" No no, I don't know I mean you were the one who said there is a new baby to think about". I was crying already.
"The fuck El , I was joking were you never thought how to that in your fancy schools ". She had gotten to my face at this point . "You're lucky you're her child I'd have broken your legs for thinking and saying nasty shit about mom.
"I can't do this with you"I backed her .
"You can't do what exactly Chelsea, when would you ever stop acting like a child I make a simple joke and you take it this far , there's a whole world out there ready to swallow you up if you keep acting this way . C'mon El how do you think I feel ". She was yelling already ,she always got mad when I cried there was no one here for her to scold I was the only one hurting myself so she poured it all on me but I never knew she'd bring this topic to her .
"What about me ,you got to live with your mother for eight years El and I've never seen mine once in my entire life, she tossed me in my Dad's arms and went to only God knows the fuck where . I should be the one feeling like a burden here but your mom , she never tossed me away .I was six months without a mother and she accepted me , I got you into trouble more times than we could ever count but she never ordered me to stay away from you instead she'd walk up to the school to defend us , to defend me, El.
She was the happiest amongst us all when she found out you were coming back to San Francisco she wanted to throw a goddamn party but I declined it , if you feel all this I'm saying is clueless and a complete waste of time then you should pack your bags and leave cause I'm not ready to see the only woman I've ever adored and cherished get heart broken because of an ingrate like you ". She was facing me once again anger fumed in her eyes, she has always been the type to stand for the ones she loved especially when it came to my mom and I.
"We could do better without you anyway , it's not like I was a mess in San Francisco eleven years without you" she mumbled as she was about leaving. No this isn't what I wanted I felt rejected but I never wanted to leave, I've just missed my mom so much I didn't realize my thinking was making me hate the one woman who has always taken my needs first before any other thing .
"I.. I.. I'm sorry, please don't leave I just...".
"It's fine El , your stupidity just amazes me sometimes" she interrupted while hugging me . I still kept on crying in her arms while she laughed and consoled me.
"Stop it, you cry baby"sge laughed.