My Bride (Reituha/Aoiha)

Tangle

Kouyou and Akira had been friends since childhood. They grew up in the same neighbourhood, went to the same school, played in the same soccer team, and were almost always in the same classes. It had always been Akira that he ate lunch with, it had always been Akira who he played with at recess and invited back to his house, it had just always been Akira.

He felt safe with Akira, he always had. Akira had been the one who beat the shit out of the boys who bullied Kouyou because he had the shape and face of a girl. Akira had been the one who had taught him how to throw a punch, kick a soccer ball, and smoke a cigarette without choking after. Akira had been the one to stand up for his beliefs, his friends, and his family, which one could see by his bruises and constantly broken nose. It had always been Akira.

To Kouyou, it was only natural that he had developed feelings of love for his friend, and despite his shy countenance, it was Kouyou who first told Akira he loved him. Akira had smiled then, saying he loved Kouyou too. They were children who didn’t understand the weight of their words, tossing around the word ‘love’ without hesitation. But it did not matter to them, it had just felt right.

It was in high school that the two started exploring various forms of affections. Before, it had been nothing but kisses on cheeks and ‘I love you’ whispered back and forth. Now, along with the love for each other, came the attraction. Whenever they were alone and had the chance, Kouyou would find himself underneath his friend, their innocent kisses turning into heated and passionate ones, a certain longing lingering underneath the surface of their intimacy.

As much as these moments were enjoyable for Kouyou, he couldn’t help but find himself becoming frustrated at their need for secrecy. They couldn’t even hold hands, never mind kiss in public. Not one other person knew what they did when they were alone, nor did anyone know what feelings they harboured for each other. Kouyou knew they couldn’t risk anyone finding out, but it still irritated him.

All these secrets made Kouyou wonder if Akira had secrets that he kept from him, which was a rather worrying notion. He had to know what was going on in Akira’s head, he needed to know what all of this meant.

It was near the end of their first year of high school that Kouyou finally asked. They were lying on Akira’s bed, recovering from a particularly raunchy make out session, Akira’s hands having travelled underneath Kouyou’s shirt and into his pants, much to his embarrassment. “What am I to you?”

Akira turned to face him. “What do you mean?” he grinned.

“I mean, what am I to you? Is this nothing to you or does this mean something?”

“Of course this means something to me, what are you-”

“I hate it.” Kouyou exclaimed. “I hate having to hide it. I hate that nobody knows, that nobody can know.”

“You think I like hiding?” his friend frowned. “You think I like having to hold back? That I like having to be cautious of every word that comes out of my mouth, afraid that I might say something stupid that will give us away? You think I like pretending that I don’t love you?”

“Akira…”

“I love you, Kouyou. And I wish things could be easier. I sometimes wish that one of us was a girl, that way we wouldn’t have to hide anything. That way I could date you openly, properly. But… we’re stuck with this. And I’m fine with it, I’m fine with whatever, as long as it means that I’m stuck with you.” Akira’s voice softened, a small smile tugging at his thin lips.

Kouyou smiled as well, a tear or two streaking down his cheeks. “I love you too, Akira.”

“I swear, one day we’ll get married. But until then…”