the pineapple incident

➠ one

felix
saturday, 8:32am

ugh.

this is the worst hangover i've had since minho took me to that party in some rando's college dorm and i did shots of that mysterious unnamed liquid (m.u.l. as minho and i named it). i'm pretty sure i snorted lines too that night. i don't remember, to be honest.

i sat up, trying to choke back acid rising in my throat. i'm in my own bed. that's good. however, there's a guy lying asleep next to me, maybe naked? i don't know, the blanket is covering his lower half but his toned back is exposed to my eyes. i can't see his face as it is turned the other way, but i feel too groggy and sick to look over.

clothes are strewn across the floor. i think i know what went down last night, but there's no knowing for sure.

there seemed to be something written in black marker on my arm, i lifted it to the light and squinted, too tired to see properly.

'i'm felix. if lost, please call xxx-xxx-xxx'

...who's number was that?

huh...

although, the possibly naked guy in my bed isn't the weirdest thing i woke up to. neither was the fact i was completely naked apart from a single sock on my left foot.

there was a pineapple on my nightstand.

yes. a pineapple. a full pineapple, not cut up or anything, just... a large pineapple.

it wasn't there before last night. i don't think i've ever even bought any pineapples.

why? i don't know, even now.

things started to come back to me in little pieces. i didn't think too long because thoughts ached my head. my head also had a painful bump on it, for some reason.

to explain why i was naked next to a stranger, i guess i gotta backtrack to last night...

flashback
third person
friday, 8:46pm

"tonight we go big!" minho exclaimed, thanking the waiter and taking the tray of five shots. "and what i mean by that is you go big." he punctuated the sentence by placing the tray on the booth table in front of felix.

the group of friends (jisung, minho, felix and chan) were hanging out at the bar below felix and chan's apartment.

(kinda weird, considering felix and jisung used to date... however minho's liveliness always changed the mood if he wasn't picking up guys in the bar.)

"i can not 'go big' tonight," felix pushed the tray back to his excited friend.

"why?"

"because i don't want to."

"why?"

"because i really, really don't want to."

"why?"

"because i just don't want to- hey, what drink even is this? it's a weird colour-"

"right, before you two continue, i'm gonna head out for my date," jisung interrupted, standing up and putting on his jacket.

"oh yeah, with the billionaireee~" chan teased with a weird look on his face i can't even describe.

"hundred-millionaire. not the same thing," jisung corrected, rolling his eyes.

"same thing. ok, have a good time, sungie."

"thanks, guys. bye."

the boys waved him goodbye and waited until the second he'd exited the bar and-

"you go big tonight!" minho picked up a shot glass full to the brim with alcohol and shoved it into felix's hand.

"no, i do not."

"yeah, but what if you do? what've you got to lose? it's just a couple shots, lix," chan chimed in. "you probably won't get jisung back, so who cares if you get drunk and do something dumb? if it's something dumb with a person that's not jisung, won't you feel better?"

felix hesitated, glancing at the strong drink in his hand.

"or..." minho started, picking up another glass and placing it in felix's other hand. "in less gross emotion-y terms, get drunk and get down," he wiggled his eyebrows at the implication he made.

chan looked at felix, nodding, encouragement in his eyes.

felix sighed. "fine-"

minho cheered, then began to scan the bar for hot guys to hit on.

"but!"

minho groaned. "what?"

"i will keep a clear head. i can handle these shots, it's not like it'll be like that college party. my brain is powerful. okay? i'm strong—"

and that's all felix remembered.