October 13th
After a long excoriating waiting game for the paint to finally dry I was finally able to decorate after placing the basic bedroom furniture in.
The bed was right under the window with a nightstand next to it, orange lava lamp sitting on top along with a alarm clock cause Lord knows I can't wake up to my phone alarm that goes off every two minutes.
The double door closet next to the bed had the tall dresser inside with a bunch of scattered hair products on top. My trusty badass beanbag chair was in the corner by the closet with the full body mirror hanging beside it with band, playboy, and comic stickers around the borders.
After about a couple of hours the room was finally feeling like home again with the fairy lights hanging from the ceiling along with those plastic glow in the dark stars.
Posters of all kinds covering the walls band posters, anime posters, game posters hell even playboy with some wicked stickers all around, along with some old skateboard decks I used for shelves, with a couple plants here and there, skateboard shelve full of video game disks.
After finishing decorating I flopped face first into my bed feeling absolutely exhausted hearing a knock on my door I turn my head towards the door making a sound of acknowledgment my mother walks in.
"Wow you did all this so fast! I'm impressed!" My mother beams while sitting down in the bed.
"Well um, woah the bags under your eyes are so dark, you know you need to sleep too right?" My mother laughed as I sighed.
"Well sooorrrryyyy, anyway why'd you come in here?" I asked trying not to fall asleep right there.
"Don't give me no attitude shortie!" She laughed smacking my back.
"Ouch!? Damn...are you gonna tell me why you came in here or not?" I asked somewhat annoyed.
"Okay okay, look so...I have a few options for you alright?"
"Okay shoot"
"Okay so here one, or two?" She asks holding out two boxes of hair dye.
"Are you kidding you'd look crazy as a redhead-Pfft- not happening! Go blonde!" I laughed.
"Ohhh come onnn I'd look like a hot tamale as redhead!" She huffed in annoyance.
"No you wouldn't come on do blonde then we'll be the hottest tamales anyone ever seen!" I laughed.
"Okay okay! Whatever I'll do blonde but just for you!" She stuck her tongue out as she left me to think, sleep floating away from my grasp.
These were my second set of foster parents, and they were definitely the most generous and kind people I've ever met I looked at them as MY parents. My mother actually fought to get Karen back when they separated us.
When they put me in the custody of the Collens I threw a fit, I was raging and screaming at them I blamed them for the separation, the first couple of months I wasn't sleeping I was searching for a way out. Fuelled by rage by the situation I was scared for her; scared that Karen would be hurt, scared that she'd blame me or hated me for the separation. What if as the years went on the family fed her lies to make her then resent me.
These thoughts made my throat feel tight it felt as though I couldn't breath, I felt the familiar spinning from the oncoming panic attack.
I have these panic fits almost everytime I think about my sister, who was lost in the system.
The system is stupid because the family she was placed in refused to keep the two kids together, the case was in their favor...still is, siblings get separated all the time, but the family even refused to let me talk to my sister. So I'm just left wondering and worrying, and I can't even contact Kevin he ran away from everything long ago.
My parents saw how this was affecting me over the years and suggested therapy, they were worried after seeing quite a few of my fits of rage, panic, and dissociation.
I could feel my throat burning, my heart beating, slamming against my rib cage. I was panting for breath trying to reassure myself, I needed to move. Turning my head I fumbled with the window opening it and ripping the screen out, breathing in the cold air.
Feeling the cool breeze hit my face, sighing I climb the rest of the way out. I was now standing on the garage roof, slowly sitting down and dangling my legs off the edge.
I inhale a large slow breath looking at the road infront of the house, watching as the raccoons scurrying across feeling my heart slow to a relaxed pace.
It was a warm yet cold night it didn't bother me, if anything it calmed me closing my eyes I started mumbling lyrics of a song fidgeting with my fingers.
About half way through the song I stopped, hearing the sound of a group of people, turning my head I saw them. It was Eric's group along with Craig's walking along the sidewalk laughing together.
Resting my hands behind me leaning on them swinging my legs I looked up at the sky, towards the barely shinning stars humming another tune ignoring the loud teens walking by.
"Ken Doll!" The ravenette shouted trying to get my attention, and it did but I proceeded to sing the rest of the lyrics ignoring him.
"I want to know all the dreams that you keep beneath, I want the words that you whisper when I'm asleep, wanna give back the things that I plan to take and I hope that you won't care~ But all your makeup's running, and I'm walking you home~ And my dick takes over and I'm thinking 'bout your lips, but we're too damn sober for mistakes like this!~" I sang loudly as I swing my legs humming the beat.
"Damn, Ken Doll! Didn't know you could sing!" Craig shouts at me, looking down at them there were a lot more then I thought there were, shit.
"You don't even know me, so of course you didn't know." I deadpanned looking at the rest of them uneasily he must've picked up on it because he said.
"Anyways the newbie's name is Ken, he's my smoking buddy now, so get your own." He states looking at the rest of the boys.
Eric's multicolored eyes bore into mine as he asks. "What you say your name was?" I visibly paled after the question left his mouth.
"Ken, it's Ken." I faked calmness still pale as a ghost, leaning forward and resting my hands in my lap.
"Ken? Like as in Kenneth? Or just Ken?" Eyes burning with seriousness and recognition. "Just Ken, Ken Collens actually." I said with a false dopey grin, lying to someone who knows the truth is worst feeling.
Eric along with the rest of his group visibly saddened. "Damn, I almost thought it was him." Kyle said solum.
"Hmm? What? You thought I was who?" Theres no way in hell they-
" We thought you were one of our old friends...He was here then he just wasn't, his name was Kenny." Stan explained sounding almost hollow. Those Fuckers missed me?
"Oh sorry, about your friend, sorry to say I'm not him." I falsified my sincerity, my blood was boiling.
Standing up at the edge I gave a lazy two finger salute said my goodbye to the group and crawled back into my window, squeezing my hands into fists so hard my nails were digging into my palms. I was enraged, I wanted to wring their necks, I wanted to break everything in sight as my throat tightened once again with another oncoming panic attack.
Why the FUCK would they miss me?
They're the reason I'm in this mess!
- Author note:
Hey, hi, Helloo, uh I'm not dead so yeah. But heres a chapter idk else to say
I'll do a spell and grammar check later
YOU ARE READING
I Hate This Stupid Town
FanfictionKenny moves back to South Park after eight years what happens when he sees his old friend group along with a old annyoing smoker that changed quite alot over the years?
