Agents of Shield - Forgiveness

500 view special!

The amazing adventures of young Grant Ward and Buddy! Because ... well ... Buddy didn't deserve what he got, even though it's kind of unclear what he got exactly. (Author's note written after finishing the special: I'm so sorry. Prepare to cry.)

Sometimes, I could almost imagine he could talk.

Even in through the fog of isolation, I knew it wasn't true. Dogs can't talk.

But I wished he could.

"Shouldn't we be moving?" He seems to say.

"He said he'd be back." I argue, covering my eyes and hoping not to cry.

Tears were for the weak.

I had to be strong.

Biting back the pain in my throat, I stand.

"Grant, you know the truth."

Yeah. Yeah, I did. "What truth?"

"He doesn't love you. He's here to use you, not to help you." As if to accentuate his point, Buddy sets his chocolate-furred face in my lap, looking up at me with adoring dark eyes.

"I know." I pet his head, soft when I first knew him, but matted and tangled now. "But ... I've ... always been weak. I -  If he can make me stronger ..." Maybe I'd be worth something.

"Maybe you can find your worth in friendships?"

"Who'd want to be friends with a politician's rebellious son? Besides gold diggers, I mean."

"What about Thomas?"

The pain returns to my throat, like the unsaid words of the past had come back, but didn't know how to come out. "... Thomas wouldn't understand. He's ... He's the perfect one. I'm ... not."

"That's not true."

"Thanks, Buddy."

"Well, what am I then? aren't I your friend, Grant?" Buddy grins goofily, his tongue lolling out onto my lap.

"Of course. When Garrett teaches me how, I'll be strong enough to protect both of us."

I can't shoot him.

He's a weakness.

No. He's my only friend.

You don't have friends. You're a failure. You're weak.

No, I'm not!

Then prove it.

I squeeze the trigger.

Opening my eyes, I watch Buddy run off, with that same burning in my throat. Tears left un-cried. Words left unsaid.

Love unfelt.

I head over, wordlessly grabbing the rifle from Garrett. He clucks his tongue at my weakness, but lets me aim the gun at Buddy.

My finger hovers over the trigger.

Prove it.

No.

My trigger finger relaxes. I'll ... I'll just have to escape. Shoot Garrett. Run off with Buddy.

But then I'd always be weak. Pitiful.

My nerves feel frayed, my mind torn. I resituate the trigger finger. Maybe I should just-

WHAM!

I jolt at the sound of the trunk slamming, turning to look.

But as I turn, I hear the gun fire.

My heart stutters.

Oh, no.

"About time, W-"

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" I peer through the sites, seeing blood.

"You shot by accident?"

"I-"

He huffs, looking through the sights. "I should have known you'd always be weak."

"... weak?" I thought he believed in me, like Buddy did.

Buddy ...

"Of course. That's what that pain is."

"The ... the pain?" I ask. Is it harder to breath?

"Of losing him. That's why I wanted you to kill him. To teach you not to grieve, like a weakling."

"I- I-"

"You know ... you'll never be able to go back." Garrett side-eyes me. "Accident or not, you killed your best friend. You've got blood on your hands. You're stained. Good luck with getting anyone to care for a dog murderer."

Murderer.

"You have no other choice now, Ward."

No ... No other choice.

"He's not dead yet." Garrett says, "Because your weak fingers missed, he's not going to make it, but in the meantime, it's going to be painful."

I finally get the words out, even though the feel croaky and strange, as if my tongue was made of gummies. "He's in pain?"

"You did that to him. Now finish it."

He hands me the pistol.

Dark, black, and cold to the touch. Deadly and entrancing.

My left hand trembles. "Y-Yes, sir."

Sometimes, I wished he could talk.

But not today.

I point the pistol at his chocolate brown head, staring into his dark, adoring eyes. His wet, raspy heaves hurt my ears. His blood covered torso makes my hands shake.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

With that, his eyes close, the breaths stopping. The gun fires, even though it's too late.

And he's gone.

Author's note: Wow. I- I meant for that to be happy. Now goodbye guys ... I have to finish crying because ... wow. Ward's emotions hit me hard as the writer. No idea if you guys cried, but I certainly did.