He was going places. He was the smartest person I had ever met. He was my friend. He helped me recover from James’ coldness. He helped me through my heartbreak. He was everything to me the last couple months of his life. But now he’s nothing to me. Now I hate him. At least I try to hate him. But I can’t. I can never hate Kyle. Even after the things he did to me.
I stare up at the ceiling of my room. My room was disgusting. Clothes were sprawled on the floor. It looked as if someone had bombed my room. My room was never messy. I was always clean but now I just didn’t care. After the things I’ve seen, I don’t think I’ll ever care again. I hear a knock on the door. I don’t answer. She comes in anyway,
“Hope?” my mother says. I continue staring at the ceiling. If I say anything I know I would cry. My mother and I used to be so close but now I’ve been ignoring her. Afraid I might scare her away. Because I’m not her little innocent girl anymore. I’ve changed and not for the better. She sits on the edge of my bed,
“Do you want dinner?” Ignore,
“Sweetie?” Ignore,
“Hope?” Ignore,
“Hope, please talk to me.” She starts crying. I close my eyes,
“Let me in, Hope. I’m here for you.” She holds my leg. Her touch brings goosebumps to my arms. I’ve missed her touch. My mothers touch. Warmth spreads throughout my body. Looking at me. I could feel her stare. She sighs. She gets up and lets go of me. Her warmth leaves with her. I let out a sigh. Water rimmed my eyes. I sit up,
“Mommy.” I whisper. She immediately looks back. I struggle to speak, “They…” I stop and start crying uncontrollably. She practically runs back and holds me. I cry into her shoulder. She strokes my hair,
“It’s going to be okay, sweetie.”
“It hurts mommy. Everything hurts.”
“I know, honey. I’m right here. I’m always here my little Hope.” I cry and she lets me. I let it all out and she holds me. All this time I’ve been holding it all in. I’ve been helping other people. I never even thought about myself. I needed my Mom throughout it all and here she is. I needed this. I wanted to live,
“They hurt me Mommy. They all hurt me.” I grip onto her shirt. I form into a ball making myself small even though I was bigger then her,
“I know baby. I know. They’re all gone. It’s done. Baby, I’m here. Mommy will always protect you.” I cry until I finally fall asleep.
When I wake up I feel the warmth of my mother surrounding me. I slowly unravel myself from her and grab my phone and my keys. I slowly walk out the door careful not to make a sound. I run into my car and start it. I drive off. I don’t know where I’m going. I wasn’t in control of the car. My body was. After exactly 8 minutes of driving (I counted) I reach a very familiar house. I start crying. Why was I here? This place used to be my second home. I was always here. I stumble out of the car and reach the front porch of the house. I was struggling to catch my breath. I ring the doorbell. The sun was beginning to show. The door opens and in front of me was the woman who was like a second mother to me. She stares at me shocked. Kyle’s mother,
