the nightingale

Chapter Thirty-Five

Louis had therapy later that morning. He needed to tell Anna even more for her to understand. He only gave her the gist at the last session. She didn't know the full extent of it, or how he met Harry.

Louis woke up to a big breakfast. He was very thankful because he didn't have to wake up even earlier. He was happy Harry didn't force him to cook like Scott did. He liked sleeping in for a change.

Louis reminded Harry that he could cook sometimes, but Harry persisted him not to. He told him he had he cooked too much within the last few years and he needs a little break from it. Louis found that he didn't mind.

He sat down in front of his plate and began to eat. They talked freely the entire time, Harry giving his hand a squeeze every once in a while. Louis loved the feeling of his hand being closed in by Harry's larger one. He felt safe.

But then Louis' fears came flushing back inside him. What if Harry turned into Scott? Scott manipulated him in the beginning. He made him think he was perfect, that he loved him very much. What if Harry was doing the same thing? He didn't think he could handle Harry turning on him. He would be devastated. He reminded himself he'd talk to his therapist about that fear.

After breakfast, they got ready for his appointment. Louis got dressed in jeans and a light purple sweater.

"You look beautiful," Harry said and kissed him on the cheek.

Louis blushed. "Thank you."

"Let's head out. We'll be late," Harry said, and they walked to the car.

Harry drove them to Anna's office. Louis was slightly nervous like he was before. He was afraid she would judge him.

When Harry parked, he could tell by the chewing of Louis' lip, the shaky hands and legs, and the pale stare on his face, he was nervous.

"Don't be nervous, love," Harry said and held his hand. "Remember, she's here to help, and I'll be with you the entire time."

Louis nodded and squeezed. "I know. I just get scared she'll judge me."

"She won't judge," Harry said and pet his hand. "Ready to go in?"

Louis nodded and got out. They walked inside, Harry checking him in. They only waited for a few minutes before Anna called them back.

"Have a seat, Louis," she said and sat in her chair.

Harry and Louis sat down on the couch.

"How are you today, Louis?" Anna asked and got out her clipboard.

Louis shrugged. "I'm okay. Just really nervous all the time."

Anna frowned. "Why are you nervous? Is it because the trial is next week?"

Louis nodded. "Yeah. And — and I need to tell you more things about... about Scott."

"You do?" Anna said. "Okay, let's start out slow. You can tell me first on how you met Harry. What made you two so close?"

Louis rubbed his eyes. "He worked at the bakery. It was right down the street from my house, and Scott demanded lunch because that's when he came home, so I thought it was the perfect place to get something. Harry and I talked, and we became friends. He found out about... my abuse. He saw the bruises that I struggled to cover up. He helped me. We became closer. I'd go to his house. He got me a dog," Louis said with a smile. "It was a safe haven for a while. Then — then Scott got really bad."

Anna made notes in her notebook. Harry pulled Louis closer.

"What happened that made you leave him? How did that happen?" she asked.

Louis sniffed and looked down. "I told him we were breaking up. He took it badly... He beat me harder than he ever has. He grabbed me by my hair and threw m-me," Louis choked. "I managed to fight him off for the first time in my life. I called Harry and he came and saved me. That was the last straw for me. Harry took me to get my things the next day. I lived with Harry ever since. I love Harry. We fell in love, and I'm never leaving him."

Louis smiled and hugged him. Harry hugged back, kissing his head.

"Did he ever hit you with objects?" Anna asked.

It took everything in him to keep going, but he told himself earlier he had to. He was so scared. He didn't want pity. It wasn't his fault... It wasn't.

"Um..." Louis mumbled, starting to cry silently. "Y-Yes. He sometimes took his b-belt off and hit me with it all over. Sometimes in the face. One time, he took a glass bottle and slammed me in the head with it. I p-passed out... I got a concussion."

Louis choked on a sob. Harry pulled him into his lap, whispering loving words in his ear.

"Shhh, it's okay. You don't have to say anymore, love," Harry whispered, petting his hair.

Anna said, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Louis. Domestic abuse is never a person's fault. You didn't deserve any of that."

Louis choked, "I hate him so much. I couldn't take it anymore, so I left."

"And I'm so proud of you for that. You're very strong for leaving. You're so strong for being open about this. Most victims aren't so open," she said with a soft smile. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Yeah, Lou," Harry said. "Everything will be okay."

Louis nodded. Anna made more notes.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" Anna said.

Louis went back at his notes he left inside his head.

"I guess I have one more thing..." Louis said fearfully. "I'm scared I'm going to have to go through this again. I — I'm completely in love with Harry. I never been this in love before. I loved Scott at first, but it was more the idea of him. But this time... I really love Harry."

Harry smiled and squeezed him. "Keep going, love."

Louis smiled small. "I guess I'm just afraid he'll turn on me too. I don't think I can take him hurting me like that."

"Lou," Harry said solemnly. "I would never, ever hurt you like that. I promise you, love. I would never hit you, or degrade you. I would never hurt you on purpose."

Louis nodded. He was sincere. He trusted him.

"I know," Louis said, wiping his tears. "But I just get scared sometimes."

"And that's okay," Harry said. "I'll remind you every day if I have to."

Louis smiled and snuggled close.

"Well, I think that's all for today. Good job, Louis, for being honest with me," Anna said with a smile. "We'll carry on next week."

Louis nodded and stood up, Harry copying him.

"Have a good day, you two," she said and waved them goodbye.

"Bye," Harry and Louis said in unison. They giggled at each other.

Louis headed to the car, feeling much better than before.
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