If Guns Can Cry

08

Guns Have Souls

I stood in the hot sun, sweat trickling down my back as I tried to keep his focus. The drill sergeant's voice barked orders, but all I could think about was the familiar knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach. I glanced to my right and saw Glory, smirking as usual.

We were all lined up for our daily drills, the routine almost second nature by now. But as soon as Glory stepped out of formation, I knew trouble was brewing. She sauntered over, her steps slow and deliberate, like a predator stalking its prey. I tried to avoid eye contact, hoping that maybe today she'd let me be.

"Hey, Gucci," Glory called out, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Still dragging the team down with your pathetic push-ups?" Her voice dripped with mockery, and a few teasing echoed from the other recruits.

I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my cool. I knew she was just trying to get a rise out of me, but it still stung. The sergeant hadn't intervened yet; maybe he was waiting to see if I'd stand up for myself.

He thinks that I'm still like Gia? I know I'm not her... I'm not as strong as her! Wala siyang aasahan sa akin. I don't know if kaya ko pumatol!

"What's the matter, Gucci? Cat got your tongue?" Glory's grin widened, and she leaned in closer. "Maybe we should have you do a few extra laps. Help build up that stamina of yours."

My face burned with humiliation, but I forced myself to stay quiet. Getting into a shouting match wouldn't help, and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. But Glory wasn't done. She stepped closer, invading my personal space.

"Or maybe we could all just do some extra push-ups," she continued, her voice mocking. "What do you think, team? Should we do a few more because Gucci can't keep up?"

A chorus of groans and reluctant agreement followed, and I felt my shoulders slump. I knew it wasn't my fault; Glory was just looking for a scapegoat. But still, it felt like everyone was against me. The sergeant finally stepped in, his stern voice cutting through the air.

"That's enough, Glory. Everyone back in line," he ordered, his tone brooking no argument. Glory threw me one last contemptuous look before returning to his spot. I could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on me, some sympathetic, others indifferent.

As the drill continued, I focused on the ground in front of me, trying to ignore the teasing and whispered comments. I knew I had to prove myself, to show that I wasn't the weak link Glory made me out to be. But for now, all I could do was endure and hope that one day, things would change.

I sat on the bench, still catching my breath from the intense training session. My muscles were sore, and I could feel the sweat cooling on my skin. Just as I reached for my water bottle, Glory stormed over, her face flushed with frustration.

"Gucci, what the hell was that?" she snapped, her voice sharp. I looked up, startled by her sudden anger.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. I had a feeling where this was going, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

She threw her hands up, exasperated. "Alam mo kung ano ang mga sinasabi ko! You messed up the drill again. We practiced it a hundred times, and you still can't get it right!" Her words were like a slap. Nakaramdam din ako ng ache sa dibdib.

I clenched my jaw, struggling to keep my composure. It wasn't the first time she'd blamed me, and I doubted it would be the last.

"I'm trying my best," I replied, my voice tight. "It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose."

Glory scoffed, crossing her arms. "Well, it sure seems like it! Every time we get close to nailing it, you screw up, and we have to start all over."

I felt a mix of guilt and frustration. It wasn't like I wanted to mess up, but sometimes the pressure got to me. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll work on it," I said, my tone softer now, trying to diffuse the tension.