Isolation (Book #1 of the Taylor Series)

Sixteen

"It's Wednesday," Adam says right when I walk through the front door, "You know what that means?"

I yawn and shrug my shoulders, "No, what does it mean?" I kick my shoes off at the front door and shuffle towards the couch where Violet is working on her homework.

"It means that we had Youth group tonight, and you totally missed out." Amelia says when she walks into the living room with a bowl full of popcorn. She sits down on the other side of Violet, and presses play on the remote. The loud credit music starts to play for the introduction of some film made in black and white.

"Oh, yeah," I snort, "I totally missed out." She rolls her eyes, and I narrow mine in response. 

The sudden noise of Violet erasing something on her sheet of paper pulls my eyes away from her. I shut my eyes with an exhausted sigh instead. It feels good to be home, and my throbbing feet and tired legs thank me.

"You tired?" Violet whispers, running her hand through my hair.

"Maybe," I yawn, and open my eyes to see her staring down at her homework, "Is that extra credit?" I squint my eyes to get a closer look, but she quickly snatches it away before I can see what it is.

"Yeah, for History." She smiles a fake smile, before running up the stairs to her shared bedroom with Lauren and Julie. 

I think for a moment that I did something wrong, but then shrug it off. All I did was ask a question, it's not like it affected her that much. Besides, she probably just forgot to take her pills this morning or something. I stand up and look towards Adam, who is building something with Legos with Elijah. Nathan sits beside them, giggling as he explains the architecture in his mind.

"I think I'm going to go upstairs." I mutter, but none of them are listening. 

Not that it matters, as based on Nathan's excited-tone, they're occupied with things more interesting than what I'm saying. Once I reach the top of the stairs, I notice that my bedroom door is wide open. I walk in hesitantly, half-expecting to see my mom searching through all of my stuff for some hint about 'the boy who likes me'.  

Instead, I see both Lauren and Julie hanging out on my bed. At first, I think they're having a jolly 'ole time, laughing and telling jokes, until I realize that Julie's crying. Julie, of all people.

"Hey, hey, what's going on here?" I ask, and Julie gets off of Lauren's shoulder. Her red watery eyes and low sniffles make my heart clench.

What the fuck happened?

"What's going o--" I stop myself short when I notice that Julie's hair isn't up in her normal ponytail. It's not up at all. 

Her long, beautiful dark hair that used to flow past her belly button has been chopped unevenly into random frizzy sporadic tufts. It's if I'm being honest, hideous. My mouth falls open, and Julie starts crying heavily. Waterfalls of tears flow down her cheeks that even I can see in the darkness.

"What the fuck?" I can't stop myself from swearing. 

Lauren rubs Julie's back and looks up at me with an expression of loss and grief. What am I supposed to do? I want to ask her, but I can't find the words.

"Mom cut her hair." Lauren whispers, and Julie pulls her tight into her chest. They sit for a few moments crying together and comforting each other, while I stand frozen at the door.

"What-- why would she do that?" My voice sounds cracked and uneven as surprised horror settles among my bones.

According to the Bible, getting a hair cut is a sin, and you'd be stupid to think that Mom would just overlook that. What could Julie have done that would be bad enough for Mom to chop all of her hair off? Bad enough to force Julie to parade around town, letting everybody know that she's a sinner? That she's done something that will surely get her sent to hell. What could Julie have possibly managed like that?

"Because I fucked up, Eve, I really fucked up!" She cries out, and I let out a comforting shush before I sit on the other side of her.

"What do you mean? What did you do?" I ask, my heart pounding in my ears.

I gulp loudly, waiting to hear that Julie murdered someone or that she raped an unsuspecting stranger in an alleyway. I wait to hear that she did something unforgivable. Something that will make me disown her as a sister. Instead, she tells me something far, far worse.

At least, according to Mom, it's far worse. In reality, it makes me sick. Not because it's a disgusting act, but because it's so fucking normal, it's disgusting to think that Mom would hate it so much. Especially when it's her own daughter. Someone that she carried in her womb for eight months (Julie was born premature) and raised for fifteen years; a child that loves and looks up to her. How could someone do such a thing to a child? 

It's not like Julie's some demon that was brought here to destroy and leave Mom's entire existence in ruins. Julie didn't have a choice in the matter. Julie didn't wake up one day and decide to do it. She is a normal human being. She's a beautiful girl inside and out, yet as of right now, Mom is going to think that she's a monster. That she was possessed by a demon when she was a child and now she's doing everything she can to ruin Mom's life.

Julie's on her bad side, exactly where I am. We're on this side of Mom's spectrum and for two very different reasons. Me for the choice of being Atheist and Julie for deciding to stop hiding who she truly is. It's bittersweet, really. How Julie probably woke up this morning and thought, "I'm going to tell Mom and everything is going to be okay." It probably would've been, had she had a different Mom. If she wasn't some God-obsessed Villain in her children's lives, then yeah, things could've been different. But they aren't. Because we've got Ellie Nicholson as a Mom.

A woman who only cares about herself and her own pathway to Heaven. She'd do anything in the world to get there, even if that meant disregarding her own kids. Even disowning them if Dad didn't have a say in the matter. I'll bet the only reason Julie is still allowed here is that Dad loves her to pieces. Julie's his favorite, but maybe she isn't anymore. From how easily Mom influences Dad, I wouldn't be surprised if she convinces him to ignore how Julie is. The same way he does it to me.

She will be the little girl who liked to throw enormous water balloons at random kids in the park. She will forever be the daughter who was disinterested in boys until she turned fifteen and started dating Cameron. She'll always be the girl who doesn't give two shits about school or friends because she doesn't see the point in it. She's the girl who still lives in her dreams, wanting to sing in front of a huge crowd of fans on stage. She's never going to be accepted by either of her parents. Dad will never see her as who she really is, and Mom will never accept the girl she truly is. She'll have to deal with Mom praying for her to be fixed, even when she's not broken.

"I'm gay, Eve, I'm fucking gay." She sniffles.

Yeah, what a fucking monster. Ellie Nicholson, forcing her innocent daughter to hide in her sister's bedroom, in tears, trying to find comfort in her sisters who have absolutely zero power over their mother. In reality, aren't the people who try to change people who've done nothing wrong, the real demons? I mean, they're trying to change how god made us. Maybe they're the ones who should "burn in hell" along with that stupid god of theirs. Especially when god made us all the way they wanted us to be, yet they hate the way they made some of us. Sounds like it's their problem, not ours. Religious people should take that up with their indecisive god instead of the people that suffer from their doings.

How can anyone forgive someone for choosing to live a religion that allows you to be a douchebag? Sure, you can tell me that there are a few people who don't use their religion as a tool and an excuse to hate others, but the point is that with religion, you've got the right to. Nobody cares when a Christian or a Muslim or a Jew or any religious person stands up and starts protesting the rights of others-- the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community, the rights of women, the rights of African Americans. Even if some of those people are a part of their religion.

Nobody blinks an eye about that. Just try to be an Atheist and protest the stupid Pro-Life idea. Everybody seems to think that if you're Pro-Choice, you're actually pro-abortion or pro-murder. I guess it's my fault though. I hadn't realized that most of the American population are illiterate scumbags who believe they have the right to tell women what they have the right to do with their bodies.

Whenever you accept and follow a religion, it must be a rule to that you become a privileged dickhead. Religious people seriously might be the most privileged people on the planet.