Ginger Gears

Reverse Conclusion

He lay in the darkness, listening to her deep breaths as she slept. Her arm was still around him, holding him. For the first time in his life he was terrified. Truly terrified. He had been scared when he had asked her to use his shower – what an embarrassing, feeble thinly veiled attempt to bribe her to stay with him. What if she had laughed? Looked at him with pity in her eyes?

Yet she came and they had showered together, she had been chuckling and had washed his hair, telling him over and over again how much she liked it. And all he could think was how strange it was – that a woman like her would say these things, look at him with this soft expression in her eyes.

What if- what if she meant what she said?

He had been hot and cold at the same time, unable to avert his gaze. Thinking over and over again 'I love you', the words choking him, making him nervous and ill. He loved her so much that his chest hurt. He wanted to kiss her, whisper in her ear, tell her how brilliant, strong and beautiful she was... but he simply couldn't.

He didn't know how. Every time he imagined telling her it sounded silly, weak. Ridiculous.

The next few days were a blur, he got up, inspected troops, read reports, requested status updates on Starkiller and headed into the lab. It felt like he was only really awake when he was with her.

"Tomorrow is the day," she said. "I'm still torn about it."

"I'm certain it will turn out just fine. Your family has to acknowledge that you did it for them."

She smiled weakly as she put down the hydro-spanner on the work-bench. "I hope you're right."

He briefly wondered if she would mention him. No, of course she wouldn't... her family didn't like her working with the Order, they certainly wouldn't approve of- No, she wouldn't tell them.

What was the matter with him? Why was he even wasting time musing about that?

"What's up with you? You seem distracted." She nudged him in the upper arm.

"Well, I just thought about you being away I- perhaps I'll take a break from the project too," he said with a halting voice.

"You don't have to on my account, you know."

He brushed a strand of her non-regulatory hair behind her ear and gave her a peck on the mouth. "How could I possibly make any progress without you?"

She pulled him down for another peck. "You have managed without me before – so I doubt that's entirely true."

"Barely."

"You flatterer!" she nudged him again and returned to the work-bench.

He was about to turn his attention back on his schematics when his holo started to beep. With a frown he activated it.

Captain Phasma's figure appeared. "Sir, there is a situation with the new platoon of Stormtroopers. I'm aware that it's late – but I assume that you want to handle this personally."

It had to be serious if Phasma called him directly. "What is it about?"

"FN-2187 botched an assignment, he refused an order."

He frowned. How was that possible? The Stormtroopers were raised and bred to follow orders; and FN-2187 had exceptional evaluations up until now. "I see. Thank you for informing me, Captain. I assume that you're in the barracks?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'm on my way."

He ended the call and turned to face Rose. She had an unusually serious expression on her face. "I'm afraid this could take longer," he said.