Ginger Gears

Epilogue: Epistemology

It rained outside, heavy drops of water fell on the canopy of the trees and pelted on the roof. Hux sat at his workbench staring at the holo blueprint of his latest invention: a droid with a pre-programmed holo of a doctor. It was in itself a simple update from a common Med Droid - the difficulty was that the Holo could only analyse the patient with the Droid's limited optical sensors. Hm, if he could install more sensors, the energy would be...

A soft knock on the front door interrupted his thoughts. He raised his head and slowly opened a small drawer under the workbench without turning his eyes away from the door leading to the vestibule. He took out an old, modified blaster and frowned.

Who would visit him out here? The nearest village was too far away. His visitor knocked again and he energized his blaster.

He slowly stood up, left the work-shop and headed down to the door. At the push of a button the front door opened. His heart almost stopped when he saw Rose standing in front of him. He breathed in sharply. A small device hovered above her, protecting her from the heavy rain with its multi-phase shield.

"Hi," she said.

He could only stare at her wordlessly. She was wearing an old brown leather jacket with dark cargo pants, her hair carelessly tied to a ponytail. She smiled at him. The smile pierced his heart and he swallowed emptily.

"Hi," he said.

"May I come in?"

He deactivated his blaster and stepped aside so she could enter his modest house. She looked stunning despite the shapeless clothes, her eyes still reminded him of dark honey... Suddenly he became aware that he only wore a simple grey tunic and had not shaved for days. He put the blaster on a small commode at the entrance and stroked his hand through his hair. "I... I didn't expect company."

She looked around and undoubtedly noticed the sparse, functional furnishings. She rubbed her hands against the hem of her trousers. "I'm sorry that I..." She turned to him. "I thought of calling you, but I couldn't. I wasn't even sure if I could knock on your door."

They stared at each other, the silence stretched unpleasantly.

"Tea?" he asked, somewhat briefly.

"Yes, please."

He led her into the small kitchen. He took the tea leaves out of the cupboard and grabbed the tea egg sitting on a shelf. He attempted to put the leaves in the egg but his hands trembled too much. Finally he gave up and sighed.

"How did you find me?" he asked in a low voice.

"It took me quite some time to comb through all the shell companies you had set up to sell your umbrella droids... but in the end the trail of credits led me here."

Finally his hands stopped trembling and he started to prepare the tea. "Has General Organa changed her mind? Are you here to get me to her?"

She sighed. "The war is over, you know that."

He grabbed the two mugs and put them on the table. He fetched a small bowl with sugar cubes from one of the cupboards and put it next to her tea.

"Then why are you here?" He did his best to sound impassive, but he failed miserably.

She took two lumps of sugar and put it in her tea and stirred it. "I miss you." Her voice was shaky and her eyes were moist.

He could feel an iron grip taking hold of his heart. "Please, don't- don't say that."

"It's been four months and I still miss you," she now said in a firm voice as she blinked the tears away.

He inhaled, his chest seeming constricted.

She grabbed the backrest of the only chair in the room that was standing in front of her as if she needed support to keep standing. "Despite everything I-" she broke off and sniffled. "I miss our conversations, I miss working with you, I miss our bickering, I miss your stupid half-smile, I miss the smell of your hair in the morning, I miss-" she broke off again. "Kriff! I miss your warmth in the night, and I miss-"

"I miss you too," he said before he could stop himself.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

"Of course I miss you," he repeated. "You gave me the feeling- the feeling to be enough. I really thought you wanted to be with me for the sake of myself." He pressed the fingernail of his thumb into the soft skin between the thumb and the index finger. The dull pain calmed him a little. "You have no idea what this did to me... I didn't realise it myself at first. I started to believe you when you told me-" he pressed his lips together. No, he couldn't say it. He felt ashamed.

She let go of the backrest and drew closer to him, kneading her hands together. Slowly she let go of her own hands and reached out, putting her hand on his.

His throat tied up when he felt her warm hand on his, his very skin tingled where she touched him and a shiver ran down his spine. She took his hand and guided it towards her lips, she kissed the back of his hand and pressed the palm of his hand against her cheek.

He choked up as he slowly caressed her cheek with his thumb. She was here... here with him. She didn't have to and yet-

"I love you," she said in a trembling voice. "Yes, I was a spy, but I never mislead you about my feelings for you." She sniffled and laughed a little. "I'm such a terrible liar – I- I couldn't even lie about liking tea."

His heart pumped faster, he could feel a lump in his throat. "Do- do you really mean that?"

She tiptoed and gave him an almost chaste kiss on the lips. "Well, I tried to rescue you when you tried to blow yourself up."

He captured her face with his hands and returned the kiss. She was here, here with him. She could've moved on... but she had returned – returned for him.

"I'm sorry that I tried to stab you."

She smiled, tears running down her face. "You are supposed to tell me that you love me, you dork."

"I love you, Rose," he whispered.

They kissed again, this time longer, softer and deeper.