Sad Boy In A Sweater - IzuJirou Oneshot

Sad Boy In A Sweater

4 AM.

Izuku would lay awake once again. His eyes sunken due to the constant lack of sleep. He's been haunted night after night after failing to save someone he should have been able to save easily. As they say, the dead get closure and the living don't.

He knew that he couldn't save everyone, but that didn't mean it didn't affect him on a daily basis. Now that he was a pro at the age of 21... It just hurt. He couldn't find it in him to sleep anymore, he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to be the number one if he couldn't say people he should.

He should be able to save everyone. He could do better. And the fact that he wasn't doing better even after all the years of training, and years of doing what he could to be the hero he wanted to be... He felt like a failure. He felt like he had failed himself, and all the previous users of One For All. Especially, All Might. His now deceased mentor... How could he face him at all like this?

Izuku knew he needed to clear his mind. He couldn't lay here like this just wallowing in self pity. He needed to go on an early morning walk, get his mind out of whatever dark hole he was spiraling into. Though, it wasn't like just walking would help.

Izuku rose from his bed, dressing rather warm as it was a crisp autumn morning. A white sweater overtop one of his "shirt" shirts that he mainly wore as pajamas at this point, and black sweatpants with his red hightops.

'Maybe a scarf..? Gloves too...' Izuku said as he reached his coat rack, taking a red scarf and beanie off of the top of the rack. He'd grab a random pair of black gloves off of his coffee table before exiting his apartment entirely. He'd lock the door behind him before walking down the stairs of his complex, eventually finding himself at the sidewalk beside the road. He'd watch as a lone car would breeze past, taking in a deep breath of the cold air before snuggling his face into his scarf.

The cold would just remind him of his faults, though perhaps he deserved to be out in the cold like this. He failed as a hero, even with just a long casualty, he should have been able to save that man. How could he fail him? The man had a family...

Izuku would walk aimlessly down the street, just taking in the sights. He continued to feel the cold air, the crunch of the leaves beneath his feet, and the sorrow of his own failures and regrets. Izuku realized that there were many times where he failed, and sooner or later it just started piling up. But he couldn't cry. He dare not cry. He was someone who continued on with such an artificial smile on his face.

After everything he had been through, and after failing to save a man... How could he smile at the public? It weighed on him heavily. Wearing such a false smile everyday, almost as if on instinct when encountered by the public. But that wasn't his real smile, it never was, and it never would be.

Izuku would come to realize the streets were empty. The leaves would flutter around with the breeze of the winds. Occasional cars would drive by, but it wasn't like the usual bustling of the city. No, it seemed more... Fitting. At least for Izuku. No one else was out and about except for him. Stores were closed, and people were asleep. Only he was around to witness the peaceful emptiness of the city. And no one was around to see the chaotic void that was Izuku's mental space, but he was glad. No one would need to witness him.

"...ya." He heard a sudden voice call. Surely he must have been hearing things. No one would be out and about, nor was he aware enough of his surroundings to care. "Midoriya." He heard the voice again, this time he would peer up from his scarf. He searched his surroundings, but he couldn't see anyone around him.

He wondered if he was hallucinating... Or perhaps he was so captivated in his own thoughts that he began to hear other voices. Though, the voice he was hearing sounded familiar... Perhaps it was his guardian angel or some form of higher entity enlisting him to believe in them. Though that was a bit of a stretch.