"Not Leaving" amasai

Chapter One

"Hey, why are you crying?"

...

I was having a nightmare. Again. The same dream I've been having ever since I started high school.

It's always the same: I go and leave the house to get some groceries. I get food and whatever we need and usually a treat for each of them. Everything goes well until I come back and... my sisters...they..

No. Stop it Rantaro. You're not going to help it go away by thinking about it. Nobody likes someone who's negative.

I sigh and sit up, stretching my back and grabbing my phone off of my nightstand. 5:37... not bad. I rub my eyes. I haven't gotten any good sleep in a long time. But still, life goes on you know?

Placing my phone back down, I get up onto my feet and groan at how shaky my legs get in the morning. I hastily grab a pair of pants and a clean(ish) shirt from the floor.

I stumble to the nearest bathroom, thanking god that none of my sisters are up yet. The door opens creakily and I sigh again. This is gonna be a long morning.

I toss my clothes on the counter and strip quickly. Then I blush to myself and I remember to close and lock the door. Embarrassed and a little annoyed, I turned on the water to the shower and stepped in carefully so that I wouldn't slip.

The hot water hit my skin and I jumped slightly. That's one way to wake up I suppose. I tried my best not to think about being naked too much, but for some reason, it's always bothered me. Which is why I always wore baggy clothes. I wasn't necessarily insecure (I am insecure, just not that much and not really about my body) I just felt awkward wearing tighter clothes. Also, baggier clothes meant easier movement and extra comfortability. Why wouldn't I wear them?

I pumped the shampoo out of its bright yellow container, smiling to myself about how my sister would be mad at me for using 'her' shampoo again. It smelled nice, like fresh lemons, so what else was I going to use? The mens two in one that belonged to my father who didn't even use this bathroom anymore? Fat chance.

I lathered my hair in the sticky but nice smelling substance, feeling my fingers through my hair. I made an effort to look good for the sake of others and their opinions; the last thing I wanted was to be an outcast.

The water flowed all over my body, streaming soapy liquid everywhere. It felt nice, being warm. I took the lime scented conditioner from the side if the bathtub and ran it through my hair. I knew it took a while to completely rinse out, so I took my time to wash my body, making sure not to miss any spots.

When I was clean and smelling nice, I turned off the water and hurried to dry my body so I could get dressed quickly. My brown towel was soft and it didn't take long to get dry.

I put on my clothes (a normal- if a little bland- school outfit) and looked in the mirror.

My eye bags were very prominent today, and I rubbed my face, still not completely awake. I reached over and turned on the hair dryer, blowing through my green hair. Once it was dry, I patted my face with concealer and left it at that. I didn't want to be made fun of.

It got really bad at our school.

I mean, take the Ouma case.

My mind started wandering to all the horrible things he had to go through before I met him, but before I got stuck on that train of thought I shook my head for the second time that day.

You need to wake up already Rantaro. You're thinking about bad things. Try and focus on the good.

I grabbed my dirty clothes and walked back the short distance to my room, and tossed them into my laundry bin. I closed my door softly and plopped on my bed, faintly noticing how cold I was despite actually feeling quite warm. I checked my clock.