"Not Leaving" amasai

Chapter Four

"So yeah.. this is my room. Do you, uh, like it?"

As I parked the car in the drive way, he got out silently and started down the street without me. I quickly shut the car off and grabbed my sweatshirt and ran after him.

He was a surprisingly fast walker, but I was in the track team, so I made it to him after only about thirty seconds. Once I caught up, I looked at him but he made no move to look back and start talking, so I just went with it.

We walked in silence, letting the elephant in the room sit and make itself comfortable. It wasn't leaving any time soon. The streetlights blared in my eyes but I took no notice, letting my mind focus on the embarrassment of the day.

"Uh... sorry if I made things awkward Amami-kun." I looked at him, a bit startled that he thought he was the one to make things weird. And by the fact that he initiated the conversation.

"No, no it's not you. You didn't mean to trip anyways, so how can I blame you? Plus, it was my idea to go to the shop in the first place so-"

He stopped walking and held his head in his hand, and I paused. "Are you.. ok? Do you need me to slow down?" His hands started shaking and I thought for a moment I heard him choke out a small sob.

"Oh I just I.. I'm not feeling great right now. Maybe it's karma from making fun of when you fainted that day haha..." I stepped towards him, taking his arms in my hands in case he fell. It seemed like he might, as he started to sway slightly.

"Hey, no no. Are you alright?" His face turned a little more dark and he wobbled a little. He looked up at me and his eyes seemed to blur a little. Not like a sick blur but more of a.. tired blur.

"I'd like to sit down for a bit if that's ok. Sorry." I told him I'd rather wait for him to feel better than leave while he felt bad and he thanked me. I held his hand as we walked over to a nearby bench, and I sat down with him as he leaned on my shoulder. I only then noticed the bags- no, suitcases under his eyes that had become more prominent as the day had gone on.

He took a shaky breath and I looked at him even closer, very concerned. "Saihara, if you don't tell me what's wrong I won't be able to help you." He peered up at me, as if he was looking for something.

"It's a little strange, and you'd probably have no interest in it." I shook my head and wrapped my arm around his body. "If it has to do with you then I'm interested."

"Well.. it's weird so I'm not sure how to phrase this right. I just.. I got this weird feeling the other day and it wouldn't go away. And I guess I was stressing out about it a lot. It took it's toll on me I suppose.."

My eyebrows furrowed and I leaned down a little to get a better look at him but his hair covered his eyes.

"Saihara, if it bothered you so much that it had an affect on your body then it must be something serious. Please tell me what's going on." I gulped and stared at the pavement. "I'm not sure what I'd do if anything happened to you.."

He looked up at me and and held my face with one of his hands, and I turned towards him. I hadn't realized it but tears had started to form in my eyes and I closed my mouth abruptly when I noticed.

I turned away and wiped my eyes, sniffling a little but otherwise fine. I faced him again but I could tell he knew I was being genuine. I tried my best not to, but after a while I realized I was crying.

It was hard to explain my feelings about Saihara. He was one of those people where one moment you're thinking about how lucky you are to be his friend and the next you wonder what it would be like to kiss him. He had the type of face that could change on a moments notice, and when he was sad it felt like the whole world was turning to shit but when he smiled.. everything that was bad washed away.