i fell in love.

3. warm hearts ice easy

their perspective

I walked home last night. I spent the night and all day before leaving. She was worried I would get kidnapped or assaulted. I honestly think something's wrong with me, I don't fear that kind of stuff until I'm actually in that situation.

10 hours earlier

It was cold out but Sage let me take her hoodie, even though it's huge on her, it fits me nice. Given I am five inches taller and well, mid size. I'm not fat but I'm not skinny you know? But that's besides the point.

I don't understand why I was expecting my life to be completely perfect when I returned, but that theory was quickly debunked when my foot met the small welcome mat inside. To my mother, screaming at my father. He has never screamed back, or hurt her, I genuinely do not get why she gets so mad at him, hes such a nice person. After their fights he usually grabs his marlboro reds off the counter, along with his keys and hes gone, and his ritual was the same this time as well.

I went straight to my room that I share with my smelly ugly seven year old brother. I should have accepted the offer to stay with Sage, but i feel it might be a little awkward to live with your crush so that is a no from me.

I shut the door, i would have locked it but my fucking mother has this policy where she will beat the living hell out of us if we lock the doors. I slipped off the hoodie and folded it up neatly, setting it down on the made bed. Then I just admire myself in the mirror, sometimes I look perfect and my hair is shiny and beautiful, i'm told my curves suit me well. they make me feel like a woman. i hate that feeling. most of the time I just want to throw myself into a grave and hope I get buried alive. while that might sound a bit harsh, well I don't care if it sounds a bit harsh. I'm a leo.

I grab a shirt out of my draws and unclasp my bra, my fucking luck that my dwarf mushroom headed brother waltzes in the room. he stares at my chest through the mirror, what a fucking perve.

"get out!"

His eyes stayed locked on my bare chest. By the time i tug  the sweatshirt over my head he is gone, thank god. my eyes water and the lump in my throat grows. I curl up in the small bed under the plain gray sheets and quietly cry myself to sleep, what am I kidding I basically do this very night.

now

My nose is buried in my locker, it helps keep the volume of the voices to a minimum. I have always hated how loud everyone is. The clanging of the lockers, the chatters of all the different voices making small talk. I feel warm arms snake around my shoulders.

I love her, but i honestly cant deal with this today.

"CALLLLL" I turn around and quickly pick up sages perfume, its mens cologne, she is the gayest straight i have ever known.

"mhm?" My eyes fight the urge to close, they were red rimmed in the mirror this morning and they burn so badly. That's what i get for being a crybaby.

"You wouldn't believe what happened at the bus stop!"

The bus stop, at a time like 8 in the morning when the grass is frosted over and your shivering doesn't seem like an eventful pace to wait for the bus. As the world has decided to make my life a living hell,  harry and sage wait at the same bus stop. There is one other kid but hes always late so its usually just the two of them alone, and you do not want to know what harry's relations with sage are.

"What happened sage?"

"well there was a chain around his neck but the pendant was hidden under his nirvana t-shirt so I asked him what necklace he was wearing.."

i nod trying to supress my annoyance for the situation. She's getting flustered, shes head over heels for this dirt bag.

"Okay?"

"A-and then! Then he said in direct quotes 'dont worry about that darling, the only necklace you should be worrying about is my hand wrapped around your throat'"

"That.. is creepy.."

"No! It was hot, and you know it"

"Sage." This bitch is genuinely getting on my nerves.

"Yup"

"We have had this discussion many times. I am lesbian, a queer, Q-U-E-E-R" i spell it out for her

"Well you like celebrity guys"

"not sexually! i like their personality and it helps that they aren't old and creepy" She is  so stupid sometimes.

"Sage, I love you and I care about you so these words come from my heart.. he is a bloody senior! WE are sophomores, he can buy cigarettes legally. we basically just got out of middle school. Please try to like someone your age"

"He's only 2 and a half years older than me. i don't see the issue.." She rolls her eyes but i can tell she's hurt that i don't want to gossip about her love life with her. after a few seconds she pivots and walks away.

Fun! One of our monthly fights, while they do typically only last an hour or two my brain drags out those hours into years. Constantly telling me she will just ghost me and never come back, that I'm worthless and she doesn't get anything out of our friendship. I should just tell her i have feelings, whats the big deal? I'm over exaggerating things. The words that could happen is she will reject me and our friendship will die out because she will be weirded out by the fact that i was attracted to her, but i am better than a fucking junior. Any junior for that matter. Plus he smokes! And he's stupid and he probably wont go to college. he's 18 going on 19, apparently he failed junior year. he always does hard drugs at all the high school parties. Nobody wants to kiss someone with cigarette breath. that's genuinely disgusting. makes me gag just thinking about it.

My brain needs to shut the fuck up. School. Jesus, Cal just focus for once.

-

well that was fun, yes i had to bring harry into the story what is a story without the king himself? i'm gonna do sages perspective soon and i am gonna attempt to keep this story as pg as possible because my friends are reading this :0 tell me what you think about it so far and what you think will happen in the future 😩💅    -s