i fell in love.

4. missing her.

Cal

It's been a week.

A week of her not talking to me in the halls.

A week of her not texting me back.

It's convenient she decided to do this on her birthday week. October 4th. I don't know what to say. She was the one who fucked up. Wasn't she?

"Make sure to go online and check your grades. Email me if there's anything you'd like to retake. have an amazing weekend! your dismissed"

I'm the first one out of my seat and I rush out of the class. Sage sits next to me in algebra 2. In my rush out the door I bump into a muscular frame and drop all of my belongings on the ground.

"Shit i, I'm sorry that's my fault I..wasn't looking where I was going and-" I awkwardly laugh at my rambling while I'm kneeling and scrambling to pick everything up.

"Ah don't worry about it love" that voice.. oh fuck no. He crouched down in his black skinny jeans that I'm surprised haven't ripped yet and hands me my journal with a smirk on his devious lips. like hes mocking me for some unknown reason. I snatch it out of his hands and glare at him before getting up. Sage emerges from behind me and ignores my presence completely. Instead sending her Hollywood smile towards the notorious frat boy.

"Hi.. erm why weren't you at the bus top today?" she nervously asks.

"Decided it was best if i bought my own car. want a lift home? it's a convertible" he says with a wink and his sideways smile, a dimple carving into his cheek. Only he could casually buy a convertible on a Thursday.

"Really are you sure? I mean I'd love a ride-"

Ugh I can't watch this anymore. I step closer to be a part of their conversation.

"I need a ride home too.. if that's alright with you? we have a sub bus driver and he is a total ass, plus it takes thirty minutes longer to get home."

He looks taken aback but slowly nods "Yeah.. erm that's fine. I'll see you...two.. then" he furrows his brows creating a crease in between them. After he chuckles to himself and turns around striding off.

"What the fuck Cal! you know I like him why do you have to screw up everything." She gives me that look. She's angry, but she's also disappointed. Like truly disappointed, which makes me royally.. fucked.

"I just asked for.. for a ride home, I don't want to ride the bus I thought you'd be.. okay with.. it" my voice trails off as my lungs restrict my breathing.

"Yeah well I'm not. maybe you should think before insulting the guy that's driving you home tonight, he's creepy remember? Might not want to give him your address, who knows what 'bloody seniors' are capable of" she stares into my eyes and I look away, her boring stare has always made me more nervous which certainly isn't helping at a time like this.

"I'm.. I'm sorry I.." I stop to take a deep breath through my teeth and calm my eyes. I can't possibly cry again. God I need my meds. "need to go" I brush passed her and swiftly make my way towards the bathrooms. Once Im secured into a stall I crouch over the porcelain bowl and lose my breakfast to my queasy stomach. "damn it" I whisper to myself in pain and wipe the tears from my eyes. the tears run from my eyes as I stand up on my knees and flush. I sit back on my heels and sigh shakily. without thinking a hand comes down and pounds on the gray tile floor.

"DAMN IT!" my voice breaks and hiccups as I try to keep my cries to a minimum.

sage

They scurry past me bumping my shoulder in their quick haste away. The bell rings loudly and everyone files out of the halls. I stare at Cal's locker, the grey back pack strand hanging out of the navy blue metal. Proceeding to unlock the locker I look at all of the pictures they have of us. in the forms of polaroids, ticket booth strips, even a picture we drew together when we first met in the fourth grade. 

I know where Cal goes when they get worked up like this, they don't take their medication every morning. Not since their mom stopped buying them, Cal has been trying to ration what they have left. As soon as their all gone it'll become hell.

I sigh and contemplate for a few more seconds before making my way to the freshman bathrooms. I round the corner and hear quiet crying.

"damn it" a toilet flushes. I walk quietly into the bathroom and sit on the sink counter tops. After a few seconds there's a dull thud and a shriek.

"DAMN IT" Cal cries in pain and sobs, their voice breaking and hiccuping every few seconds.

I hop off the counter and gently knock  on the grey stall, trying not to startle them any more than its worth.

"Cal? Can I come in please?" my voice is delicate and soft. they sniffle and try to catch their breath to form a sentence.

"N-no, I look gross and, and my breath smells and, and you hate me, remember?"

"I don't hate you Cal.. I'm sorry for getting so upset. please let me in."

After many seconds of prolonged silence I hear the lock unlatch and the door slowly creak open. My eyes are met with Their red rimmed ones, fresh hot tears still rolling down their cheeks and spilling onto their yellow shirt. I softly smile and wipe a single tear from Cal's cheek with my thumb.

"Can I hug you?"

They slightly nod their head Before I stand on my tip toes and wrap my arms around their neck. Their arms stay awkwardly by their side for a minute until I feel Cal's fingers gently brush against my side and then meet the small of my back.

"I love you.. I'm sorry for making f-fun of your man crush" Cal whispers against my hair, their face nuzzled into the crook of my neck. I softly giggle before responding.

"It's okay, I'm sorry for getting upset at you over a boy, and your hair is really soft"

They hold me a little tighter before pulling away. Cal wipes their eyes. "I won't take his car home. I can walk. I don't mind walking, it takes longer to get home that way"

"You can come to my house for tonight? my mum still wont be home for awhile, she's on her business trip for another three days.. you wouldn't be intruding! I want you to stay.. please?" I ramble off everything so they cant refuse.

Cal grabs her books from off of the floor and nods. "okay, but I'm walking to your house, i still don't want to intrude, plus his car probably already reeks of cigarettes.." they mumble

"Cal!" I smack their chest in a joking matter and scoff.

"Sorry sorry! I'll stop now." they giggle.

"Okay, bye now, ill see you"

"Mhm"

With that I kiss their cheek and leave the bathroom.

good morning my dudes, after being gone forever and literally providing nothing to the very few people that do read this below mediocre story I'm proud-ish to say that I am back. This doesn't really mean that I'll be consistently back in the near future and im making up this whole story as i write it, the first time i wrote a chapter it deleted itself but i vaguely remember writing a one night stand between sage and harry and harry being a dickwad afterwords sooo I'm kind of  glad i didn't get the chance to publish, anyways, vote if you'd like!