The Trust I Have

A Chance Encounter

He reached out for the tap with a shaky hand and held a glass underneath. The water couldn't fill it soon enough as he found himself drinking it before it was full. He downed the water in one and began refilling it again, breathing heavily as he waited. This can't be happening again, Kevin thought to himself. This was his second panic attack in what? Three days? He wasn't sure how long it had been, but they'd been happening more often lately, for seemingly no apparent reason. He turned the tap off and drank the rest of the water, trying his best to calm himself down. He always drank water when he was nervous or scared and right now was a mix of both. Kevin slammed the glass down next to the sink with a loud thud, slightly wincing at the sound. Leaning against the counter with his head hung over the sink, he watched the water trickle down the drain. Kevin tried to steady his breathing, thinking back to an interview with a doctor he saw on tv a couple days ago, but with no luck. He ran one shaky hand through his hair and left the other clinging onto the edge of his countertop, the only thing keeping him upright. His stomach was twisting and turning and his heartbeat sounded loud in his ears. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to get a grip on what was happening and to stop his head spinning. Was he going to faint? He needed to lie down quickly, he didn't know how much longer he could stand up. Walking quickly back to his bedroom, Kevin kicked his bathroom door shut behind him. He curled up on his bed and looked up at his clock. 2am, kissing sleep that night goodbye. He reached out for the switch on his lamp and turned it off, plunging his room into darkness.

———

He flipped his pillow over, he didn't know how much longer he could stand with a soaking pillow. Kevin was crying. Not much, just the odd tear or sniffle. It hadn't gotten bad. Yet. He didn't cry ever, in fact he couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. He thought about it for a moment, how long had it been? He never let out his emotions, keeping it inside meant not having to deal with it and that was fine with him. But he couldn't always do that, if he could he would, but sometimes he couldn't help breaking down.

Damn, Kevin thought to himself, the last time that happened was after him and-

No, no

He didn't need to think about her or that tonight.

That was the last thing he needed.

He scrunched up his hands against his head, pulling hard at his hair. Why was this happening now? Why did every time this happen he'd think about that damn day? Tears were running thick and fast down Kevin's face now as his thoughts began to spiral again. He tugged at the end of his pillow, normally something that would calm him down. But nothing was working tonight and he was beginning to accept it.

He stopped for a moment, trying so hard not to make a sound. Trying to stifle the weird whimpering sound he was making in the back of his throat. He'd heard something outside, if just for a second. Someone whistling. It was faint but Kevin listened eagerly for something to bring the slightest bit of ease. The song sounded upbeat and happy, making him smile slightly. The whistling sounded like it was getting louder, as if it was coming closer.

Kevin stopped. Wait, closer?