Contentious

5 - The Talk

— — Alex — —
"Where do you want to head? I was thinking my hotel or a park?"

"Can we pick up food first? There's a food van called Donervan's maybe five minutes away. Then..." He peers at the sky "hotel I guess, think it's going to rain."

I have never been happier about British weather being shit. Even though I assume nothings going to happen; we met maybe 40 minutes ago, just the idea of him curled up next to me on a bed makes me smile happy.

We walk in silence most of the way. I'm content with just the occasional brush of my arm against his. Shit...

"Umm, what's your name?"

He seems to freeze for a second, a wry grin appearing on his face.
"Nathaniel, or Nath, either's fine. You, cutie?"

"Alex, though I guess cutie is fine too" I grumble. I watch his head fall back as he laughs at whatever face I'm making right now.

"Aww, maybe you'll upgrade to sexy someday." He smiles, and I can't help but smile back, especially when I realise he has ketchup smeared across his cheek. I don't tell him.

We reach the hotel, both of us knowing that we've avoided any serious topics. Both of us knowing we now have to discuss what's going to happen next.

He's sitting cross legged at the foot of the bed as I lean against the headboard. It's deliberate on my part; he's already showing trust by coming into my space, keeping him closer to the door means he won't feel as trapped. I know what it's like to be a wolf under stress in a new environment, and as much as my instincts want to pin him down and ravage him, I will not be a caveman.

"I'm Alpha Heir Nathaniel Therian of Magna Pack, 22 years old"

"Shit, wow, was not expecting... okay..." I try to swallow my nerves, my tongue dry against the roof of my mouth. Please let him give me a chance.

"Alexander Fen, affiliated to Moors Pack, 20... Rogue"

I watch as he digests my words. He's frowning slightly. "Did you choose to be a rogue?"

"Uh, yes... maybe? If I had stayed I would have to be Alpha. I didn't want the position, especially when Alpha Marik's daughter had been working so hard for it. I think they had hoped we'd be mates, but... um... gay, so that wasn't going to happen."

"They kicked you out" his voice is low and sharp.

"I was more dominant than the Alpha" I state, "It was the right decision." Fuck, I blink at the ceiling stopping any tears from falling. I should be over this; it was two years ago. I had to leave! It's just hard that I can't return; Christmas is just not the same over Skype. It's fucking lonely!

I'm too focused on the ceiling to notice Nath moving. I'm locked in my head, desperately trying to lock down unwieldy emotions. I don't notice him sitting next to me; wrapping one arm around my shoulders as they tremble.

I startle, instincts taking over, as I flip to pin Nath on the bed, one hand on his throat. The tenuous hold I have on my aura unfurls and I growl. Barely a second passes before I realise who I'm kneeling above, but it's enough time for Nath to realise the full pressure of my Alpha aura. It's enough time for us both to realise I could make him submit. I freeze, struggling to contain my aura again, as it seems to pulse under my skin, wanting to dance out and entwine with my mate's.

I look into Nath's eyes; the pupils blown dark amidst the blue rim. I can feel his pulse throb rapidly against my hand. He's so damn beautiful laid out under me. It's one of those moments that I know will stick in my mind forever, yet seems to pass faster than a butterfly can flutter its wings.

In this case that time is precisely how long it takes me to process that I'm still pinning him to the bed. I back away in slight horror at myself, panicking about whether his neck is going to bruise. I reacted with all the aggression learnt during the past couple of years, having had to carve a space for myself in rogue society. If you can even call it society? I sink down against the wall, trying to relax tense muscles into some semblance of not-freaked-out-at-all-I-have-not-just-made-my-maybe-mate-hate-me! I try to appear less threatening; not easy considering my height and muscle. It's the effort that counts? Right?!

He's not meeting my eyes.

He's just sitting, turned to face away from me.

"Nath, did I mess up? I mean I know I messed up, but how bad?"

...

"Nath, do I have a chance with you?"

It's another long pause, though I can see his mouth moving as if trying to work out what to say.

"Yes... but I need to think"

I don't stop him as he leaves the room, never even turning to face me.

I groan, letting my head fall back to hit the wall.

Shit.