Trapped

4

Melisa

Times like this I wish it was a Saturday.

All thanks to my alarm. It woke me up by 4am this morning.
Last night I didn't have enough sleep at all.
I just kept on thinking of the pros and cons of my life.

I don't know how to face Kate. I really fucked up. Big time. She has been the only one apart from my mum who has always supported me .

There was a time I was depressed. That was the time Tristan , my brother molested me. She was the one who revived me back.
Even my mum couldn't. I really love her and it's so sad and painful that I could do a thing to someone who had always been there for me through thick and thin.

I think I would just call sick at work. Andrew should understand. Since I am usually always present at work, only on rare occasions.

A lot of things really happened yesterday. It being a Monday for that matter.
My Mondays are usually always great.
I wish I could just vanish this instant.

Arghhhhhh God!

Through out yesterday I have been thinking of so many things .
How to stay in my room forever.
How to teleport.
How to live without food. Unfortunately I don't think I can live without food. Cause I live for food.
How to face Kate.

Overnight I had planned that I was going to go for a run this morning and skip work.
Both of them actually.

Scott can handle it all.

And as a matter of fact I don't want to face him too.
I know, him asking me to be his Valentine is nothing .
But to me it is big deal!

I had already committed my self to this single life , which I am absolutely loving.

No stress.
No worries.
No late night calls
No hanging out together.
No shopping together.
No star gazing.
No movie night.
Nothing.......

It's happening again!  Thinking about Dave.
It's like I can't get him out of my head.

Before I got a job at Monroe's I usually jog at least 2 to 3 times every week.
And since I have to go there by 7 every morning I had to stop.

And unfortunately for me Kate also leaves at that time too.
The only times we don't leave together is if she wakes up late.

Which also means if I wake up late.
Since I normally wake her up everytime.
She sleeps a lot.

Shit!!!!
I have to wake her up!

What the fuck am I going to do now?
Only if I don't wake her up, meaning she won't go to work, meaning her salary would be deducted ,meaning she won't be happy, meaning I would be sad.
Which means I have to wake her up.

When I had already planned on going for a walk and also ditching Monroe's to evade her.
Fuuckkkk!
My worst fear at the moment is about to happen in next one hour

That means I have spent an hour overthinking this issue.

I don't even know what to do again.
Jogging today is cancelled which means I am going to work today and also facing Scott.

Valentine is still on Saturday.

I think I will just spend the remaining one hour drawing some designs.

I took out my sketch pad an started sketching  an outfit for Valentine.
Yeah I know, what the point? I can just wear something in my closet . No.
I have to look classy even though I am not willingly going.
But it's always good to lay an impression.
Always.