Scopophobia | H. POTTER [4]

10 | departure

"They can't send you home!" Hermione exclaimed. As soon as Abigail had arrived in the common room, Hermione bombarded her with questions. Abigail knew the best way to make it stop was to answer them. "It's not fair!"

"I brought it onto myself, didn't I?" she pointed out, shoving more of her belongings into her luggage. "It was inevitable, I suppose."

"I can't believe it."

"Believe it."

"I also can't believe you're not more angry."

"Believe me, I was," she laughed bitterly. "But what can I do about it? At least this way I don't have to deal with all of your guy's nagging."

Hermione frowned, "Have you talked to Harry?"

"No, I was hoping you would do it for me," she replied simply, "Tell Ron and Ginny as well. Saves me from having to explain it more than once."

"Don't you think you should tell them yourself?"

"The last person Harry wants to talk to is me," she pointed out, "Besides, everyone seems to think I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. And they're right. Might as well lower the number of casualties."

"No one thinks that."

She threw a shirt down in her bag and turned to face her, "Well maybe they should." She ran a hand through her hair, "Maybe this is all for the best."

"You can't seriously believe that."

"I've royally screwed things up with Harry," she reminded the girl, "I've pushed all of you away. Maybe me leaving will keep me from ruining anything else."

"Harry knows you've been going through a lot, he doesn't blame you."

"But he should!" she exclaimed. "Who cares if I'm going through something? That doesn't give me the right to be a raging bitch and take it out on him! McLaggen, definitely, but Harry? He never did anything to me but care about me and look at how I repaid him." She shoved the last of her belongings into her bag and zipped it closed, "It'll be better for everyone when I'm gone."

"Abigail-"

"I have a long day tomorrow and I'm tired," Abigail cut her off, "I'm going to get some sleep."

Abigail had lugged her stuff to the empty common room the following evening. Or at least what she thought was an empty common room.

"Were you even going to say goodbye?" Harry asked and when she turned she could see the hurt clear in his eyes. "Or were you just going to leave?"

"It's easier this way," Abigail explained simply.

"That's bullshit and we both know it," he argued, "What are you so afraid of? And why can't you talk to me about it?" Abigail looked to the side and he continued, "You told me you would do your best not to pull away from me. But from where I'm looking, you didn't even bother to try."

"This is all..." she began. "All of this isn't working." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, "You know it too, Harry."

"No, I don't know!" Harry exclaimed. "I don't understand what's happening because I thought we were fine. I thought-" he shook his head. "I know you're going through a lot right now but-"

"Just stop!" she shouted. "Everything is just so complicated," she explained. She was sure if she explained he would understand why she was acting out but he wouldn't understand what she had to do. "Believe me when I say it's best you don't know everything."

"You want to play it that way then fine, don't tell me what's really going on," he shook his head, "Just stop pushing everyone away."

"I have to go, Sirius is waiting," Abigail replied simply before turning away, leaving the boy to himself.

"Abby!" he tried but she just kept walking.

She made her way through the school, holding back any tears that she knew were going to come at any moment. Why did things have to be this way? And why did it have to happen to her.

"You ready to go?" Sirius asked warily as she approached. She could tell he was hesitant and that probably had everything to do with her behavior as of late. She nodded coming to a stop at his side.

"Let's just go."

He hesitated for a moment before placing his hand on her shoulder and waving his wand, sending them both to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Look, I know this isn't exactly ideal," Sirius began once they arrived. "But if you-"

"I'm tired," Abigail cut him off. "I'm just going to go to bed."

"Yeah, right," he nodded. "Goodnight Abigail."