Scopophobia | H. POTTER [4]

12 | the truth

tw: brief mention of self harm and talk of suicide

Abigail's head had been on overload for that next week as she waited for her father to return. Her mother was like her? Or more accurately, she was like her mother?

How much did this change? Did her mother really die in a car accident or does it have to do with her alleged powers? And was Abigail resigned to the same fate?

The door opened and Abigail quickly rose to her feet. She sprinted toward the door before Sirius could stop her. She had her wand drawn and pointed at her father with ease. He put his hands up to show he meant no harm and Tonks, who had come in behind him, appeared alarmed at this.

"You lied to me!" she shouted in anger. Every time she was told to work on repressing her emotions, she did the exact opposite, now was no different. "Why would you lie to me?"

"I didn't lie to you," he pointed out, walking slowly into the room as she followed him with her wand, "If you would put that away before you kill me-"

"I'm not sure I don't intend to kill you."

"Always so dramatic," Sirius commented and Abigail scowled.

"I would watch what you say because you're definitely a close second."

"If you two would give us a minute?" Lupin suggested. Tonks and Sirius nodded before they made their way out of the room, leaving the father and daughter alone. "You can put your wand down now."

"I'm not so sure."

"Then at least let me talk before you kill me."

She paused for a moment in thought before lowering her wand, "Fine."

"My tolerance is already low," Abigail pointed out after they had been sitting on the couch for a long period of time. "I've only got so much self control."

"Your mother..." he began cautiously, "Your mother loved you. She loved you a lot." Abigail watched him in confusion. She knew that already. What mother didn't love their child? "She was a lot like you. Throughout her school years she had...premonitions. She didn't have as much control over her powers as you did but she had found ways to cope. Not good methods but they worked for her."

Abigail could understand this. She herself had gone to certain lengths to make everything right again. She had the scars on her arm to prove it.

"While she was pregnant with you, it all stopped. There were no visions or memories flooding her mind and she couldn't have been more happy about it," he went on, a frown appearing on his face, "Only it wasn't permanent. When she gave birth to you, it all came flooding back. The doctors blamed her catatonic state on postmortem depression and said she would be fine soon enough. Of course, they didn't know there were extenuating circumstances."

"It was a full moon and Sirius had come over to help take care of you while I was away along with James. Lily was at home with Harry but she insisted that James help. They had put you down for bed and were downstairs with the baby monitor on hand. They heard a scuffling through it and your screaming and they were quick to act."

"When they got to your room, your mother had somehow found her way in there."

"God, Helena, you scared us," Sirius pointed out, as he scanned the room, "You shouldn't be in here. You're supposed to be resting."

"I'll take Abigail," James suggested, reaching for the baby but Helena moved her away from his reach. James and Sirius exchanged a wary look.

"No," Helena spoke up, backing away from the two men. She held the child close to her chest as she reached for her pocket, "Stay away."

"Helena," Sirius tried as James slowly made his way around the room, "If you just give Abigail to me, we can get you back to bed. You're probably exhausted."

"No, no!" she shouted, pointing her wand at him, "I am not tired and I need to do this. I have to do this." She looked down at the baby before looking back at Sirius, her hand shaking slightly, "She can't live like this. I won't allow it."

"Live like what?"

"Like me," she replied, shaking her head, "With all this power...She can't have it. No one can have it. And if that means I have to do this...then so be it."

"Do what exactly?"

"You wouldn't understand," she pointed out, "You'll think I'm crazy."

Sirius opened his mouth to agree that she was in fact crazy but he thought otherwise when he saw the look on James's face. "Try me."

"I never should have had her," Helena explained. "I told Remus...I told him that it wouldn't end well. He was worried about her being like him but that was never a concern for me. I was concerned about her being like me."

He moved forward but she was quick to act, "Stupefy!" Sirius was thrown back and out of the room and the women beligned for the window.

James quickly pointed his wand at the baby and it floated out of the woman's hands as she began to fall from the window. He reached for her hand and gripped it but his wand had fallen from his hand and rolled across the floor.

"Sirius!" James shouted and the boy scrambled to his feet as the baby fell from its previously levitated position. He caught the baby just in time but James couldn't keep his grip on Helena.

"Just hold on, okay?" James suggested, "Padfoot, I need help."

Sirius made his way over but he was too late. "I can't," she replied before pointing her wand up at his hand. Whatever spell he had cast, caused him to release her and she went falling to the floor. His eyes were wide as her body hit the floor.

"She killed herself?" Abigail gaped, "And she was going to kill me too?"

"She wasn't right in the head," he explained, rubbing his jaw as he tried to think of the best way to explain, "She didn't know what she was doing."

"You don't need to defend her," Abigail pointed out resting her head in her hands. "She was sick," she concluded, "I mean, she was like me."

"You and your mother are two very different people," he informed her, although Abigail wasn't sure if it was for her or for him.

"I would never do that," Abigail told him, "You know that, right?"

"I know that," he nodded, "But at one point I would have said the same thing about your mother. That's why everyone has been watching you so closely. So you don't go down the same path as her."

"Why..." she trailed off with a frown, "Why did she try to take me with her?"

"I think the only way for you to understand is for her to explain it herself."

"I may be learning new tricks but talking to the dead is not one of those that I'm familiar with."

He laughed slightly before reaching into his pocket and pulling out an open envelope. "Here," he handed her the letter, "For when you're ready."

She took the letter from him and looked down at it for a moment. "You should have told me," she informed him pointedly.

"I know," he agreed, "But there was never really a right time to bring it up."

"But you knew what was going on with me?"

"Mostly," he admitted, "I had expressed my concerns to Dumbeldore and he promised to keep and eye on you."

"That he did," she scowled slightly and he raised an eyebrow at this.

"Am I missing something here?"

"No," she answered quickly, shaking her head. "Are you...are you leaving again?" He sucked in a breath and opened his mouth to respond but Abigail was quick to start speaking before he could. "Please, don't go back," she begged, "I've already lost everyone else, I won't lose you too."

"You haven't lost everyone," he reminded her, "But I won't go back. I'll stay here with you."

She threw her arms around his neck as the tears began to flow freely. He wrapped his arms around his daughter and held her close to him in comfort, "Thank you, dad."