Fighting for My Child

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I can totally see why dads end up with the bad reputation of Deadbeat Dad. My ex-wife is making my life hell and the system isn't doing me or my kid any fucking favors.

Currently, it's about Spring Break. But it seems like every year it's something new.

Spring Break is the minor thing.

The major issue is her list of complete bullshit "accusations" (~30 of them) against me as a dad and her list of demands to the court that would at the very least take away my kid's enjoyment of riding a motorcycle with me... and at the very most take away my legal custody.

The rich part? Our child (Kid) is about to turn 16.

Two. Fucking. Years.

When Kid turns 18, it's all done. But the next two years will be... hell.

So... Spring Break. She claims that since Kid was in 4th grade, they've gone on a Spring Break trip every other year. But looking at photos, that's not true. In the 12 years we've been divorced, they've gone on a grand total of two Spring Break trips. Two. And both out of the country.

Of those two, I agreed easily with one. The other, she planned behind my back and I found out because of the mom of the other kid going.

She planned to take our child out of the fucking country without asking first, then informed me when I caught wind. After finding out, I decided to try and make Spring Break plans the weekend before.

She agreed, "If I can have the following week so we can go to Costa Rica." That's how she "asked."

Now two years later, the same thing.

She decides to come at me with a laundry list of lies. We end up in mediation. It all goes on the back burner when she asks for Spring Break, even though she's never tried to ask me. So now we're in mediation to talk about the slanderous accusations against me, but they take a back seat to this "emergency."

Bullshit.

But can I stop her?

No.

My attorney, who's been doing this a few decades and understands the system, tells me that us fighting it is a lost cause. "The judge will say that she's already made the plans, your child will want to go, and it's just Spring Break in Florida. The judge will rubber stamp it with the easy button. And you'll look like a jerk."

So... fuck it. Let's let the bully call the shots.

If this were the only case of this, I'd look like a real dickhead.

Unfortunately, it's just one more event in a list of attacks on me, my family, my home, my character and my lifelong desire to be a dad.

And she knows it. That desire to be a dad, and the fact that Kid and I have a better relationship than she and Kid do, coupled with her second divorce now, and I think we're seeing why she's attacking me.

And it all makes me want to throw up my hands and say, "Fine. You win. Kid, I'll see you in two years when you're an adult and want to pick back up. In the meantime, don't let your mom's poison taint our relationship."

I won't give up. Kid asked me not to. My wife and I are fighting like hell to do what's right. We will do what's in Kid's best interest.

But damn it's tough.

So this will be a story about a difficult journey. A memoir of sorts. And hopefully one that shows other dads a couple of truths:

You're not alone.

You're not crazy.

You're right to fight.

I hope you, friendly reader, come along for the good, the bad and the rest.