kirari's demise

anguish

"Please, someone, set me free from this hell,"

I say quietly to myself with a sigh.

This election is beginning to bore me, why won't somebody diminish my power?

Please, just end it already.

Why me? Why us? Ririka and I always pondered that as children.

Why can't we escape this hell of a clan?

Take everything from me, somebody, anybody... I beg of you.

Give me my 'supernova.'

Take over this damned family and the school that I adjusted to my interest.

I'm so... tired?

Am I...crying? Why am I crying?

I laugh to myself and fall to my knees.

Why...why do I feel sorry? Am I sorry for myself? No...

I'm sorry, Ririka. I'm sorry that they stole our youth from us. I'm sorry that you live in my shadow. I'm sorry that they abused you. I'm sorry that you struggle to find a sense of individuality. I'm sorry that we have to switch places. I'm sorry that I won our first gamble as newborns that determined our identities.

I'm sorry, Sayaka. I'm sorry that I don't know how to reciprocate your feelings. I'm sorry that you do all of the work for the council when we slack off. I'm sorry that you think I tease you to humiliate you. I'm sorry that I can't understand you. I'm sorry that I talk about Yumeko so much, I know it upsets you. I'm sorry that I love you.

I'm sorry, my cousins. I'm sorry that we will never live in harmony with one another. I'm sorry that we will continue to tear each other down. I'm sorry that you hate me. I'm sorry that I get everything I want. I'm sorry that you were born into this clan.

I'm sorry, former student council president. I'm sorry that you ended your life because of me. I'm sorry, housepets. I'm sorry that you live in fear of me. I'm sorry, student council members. I'm sorry that I'm so reckless. Im sorry, Yumeko. I'm sorry that your parents died and your sister is permanently unstable because of me. I'm sorry, Mother and Father. I'm sorry that you were murdered for our sake. I'm sorry, grandmother. I'm sorry that we're ending the Momobami bloodline here.

I'm sorry for coming into this world.

Me, Kirari Momobami, feeling... sorry...? That's new.

...

That really is new.

I shut my eyes, claw my head, and curl up into a pathetic ball as I scream in despair.

Why did it have to be me?

I wipe my face and my hand is covered with smudged makeup and blood.

I notice that I dug my nails far enough into my skin to draw blood.

I don't want to be amused, I want it all to go away.

Someone...anyone...end me.

"Please."