Little Big Problems

Chapter 2: Ladies' Man

iWantWaffles: Men, what do you find attractive about chubby girls?
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Sky98: They are adorable. More to love. They have the cutest smile, and the best part is they are the best goddamn cuddlers.

ILoveBacon: Sky98, your reply is so sweet. I'm sure it gave confidence to many chubby woman out there.

Sky98: :)

Cloud9: I won't date fat girls. If you can't take care of your body, the most valuable part of you, then how do you expect anyone else to. That's the biggest turn off.

HellaBased: big ass :p

Destiny4: and big boobs.

ILoveBacon: Cloud9, I'm sure many chubby women take care of themselves and their body. Sometimes, some people can be thick regardless.

Cloud9: If you workout regularly and eat right, you can't be thick.

IronClad: Depends on the definition of chubby. If chubby is like unhealthily obese then I think health should be the top concern. But besides there's a fine line between good thicc and bad thicc. And I absolutely won't mind myself a good chubby girl.

ILoveBacon: Cloud9, as a chubby girl myself in her mid-20s I try to stay active and eat right. Sometimes you have been given a certain kind of body, and you shouldn't be judged on some extra ponds.

Cloud9: ILoveBacon, I still stand by what I said.

ILoveBacon: Cloud9, I give up. But you're very wrong.

Cloud9: ILoveBacon, can I have your number :)

ILoveBacon: Cloud9, pig.

I hear the creak of room's door opening and I immediately close the reddit's tab on my laptop. My very drunk roommate, Salma, dressed in a shiny golden spaghetti top and a denim mini-skirt, stumbles in. She spares me a nod before rushing to the bathroom.

I sigh before turning back to the circuit diagram on the screen. I had set a goal to finish at least one-fourth of the assignment today, but procrastination kicked in and I ended up surfing forums about chubby/fat girls instead. It is a guilty pleasure I like to dwell in when I'm feeling low. And my encounter with Adrien today has left me feeling pretty low.

I have to say internet is a complex world. People here can be very supportive and lovely, whereas other times they can turn very blunt and harsh. Seeing Cloud9 and Sky98, it is a mix of both worlds. And I guess I'm like ILoveBacon who is seeking validation from strangers online. Or maybe she's not, but I silently am.

I, too, am fat/chubby/overweight/or-whatever-the-politically-correct-term-is. All I know I've been carrying extra pounds all my life. Some of those on my breast and hips are flattering, while others on my arms, thighs and belly not so much. However, I do try to make peace with my body. It's all I have and I should embrace it. Besides I'm not going to turn into a size-zero model anytime soon.

But sometimes I do fantasize about a slimmer body. It's a desire that always lingers, no matter how body-positive I try to be. And maybe, if I was thin, I wouldn't be facing certain jerk's bullying.

Who am I kidding? Adrien would still find ways to make fun of me. There are plenty of other big girls in college, but the devil only likes to nag me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his hostility.