All Cause Of Twitter ( L.S. )

Is He Okay

I question a lot of things in life.

It's been 3 hours since the same words have been on repeat in my head. "I don't want people to think we're more than friends" and "i'm not even gay"

All the boys were on their phones while I just stared at the tv and tried to act like I was paying attention when in reality I was just trying my best to not let out my tears.

All the boys suddenly looked up from their phones and at me, almost as if they were planning it.

I just continue staring at the tv acting as if I don't notice their stares.

In a way I guess you could say I was angry at them all because they watched me fall for him, but I knew I couldn't blame them

I couldn't blame anyone but myself for falling for Louis.

I furrow my eyebrows as I looked away from the tv and to the ground as my eyes slowly widen.

I fell for Louis.

Not only did I fall for Louis but I lost reality, dreaming and thinking that he liked me when he wasn't even gay or bisexual.

Thinking I had a chance.

I fell into a trap by being careless and letting my guard down.

I stood up abruptly and was about to walk out of the living room when Liam stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

I stopped and just stared out the doorway for a second before turning my head to look at them again.

"I'll be back soon, don't worry about me" I smile but the crack in my voice and the tears in my eyes told them all that I wasn't okay.

Louis stands up and I practically turn around and run out of the room.

I went upstairs getting my shoes and phone before quickly walking down the stairs and grabbing my keys off the counter.

Putting my hoodie up as I open the front door I see it's pouring outside but I can't find it in me to care as I walk to my car, finally letting my tears fall along with the rain.

When in my car I don't think twice before starting it and speeding out of my driveway as i start heading to a place I haven't been to in a while.

It takes about fifteen minutes before I pull up to the place that has almost nobody here considering the weather.

I pull my hoodie up again as I look in the mirror seeing my bloodshot eyes and puffy face with tears stains.

Grabbing my guitar that I always keep in my car, I get out, getting the feeling that I'm being watched but just ignore it, thinking I was being paranoid.

I start walking in the rain to the sand not even acknowledging how cold it is.

Once I get to the ocean water I sit before it  and put my guitar behind me, not caring if the waves got me as I stared out at the sea and cried.

I shook my head and put my head in my hands, shaking from sobs and shivering.

I look around again still feeling like I'm being watched but there's only five girls that are walking on the beach.. weird who els would be here right now? I thought.

I shrug it off before laying back against the sand and staring up at the sky before my phone started blowing up.

I look at my phone seeing all of the boys and Georgia texting me frantically.

I ignore them and put my phone back in my pocket.

I grab my guitar and start playing one of my favorite songs. Looking out at the ocean with tears in my eyes.