Little do you know

Little Did You Know

Chi-Chi sat on her.... their bed in silence. It had been over a month since her husband Goku came back to life. A month since he had fought Majin Buu and saved the world.

She finally had her husband back after so many years, but something about it was..... off. It's like something wasn't right.

She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. She looked at the dark room. Everything was different. She changed it when Goku died. Tears fell down her face. Her heart pounded against her chest. She bit her lips to prevent making any sound.

She turned to her husband next to her. His eyes closed as he slept peacefully with his back turned on her. They tried to be intimate many times before, but she couldn't understand why she didn't feel it was right. Her eyes stung as more tears rolled down her face. She sniffed and tried to wipe her tears, but it was useless as more rolled down her face. She was breaking apart. No matter how hard tried to keep it together she just couldn't.

"Oh Goku, " she said quietly as she silently cried.

Little do you know
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep

Memories of the past flashed in her mind. From the time they met to day she was told he was died and didn't want to come back. Those memories haunted her for years. Was it because of me that he refused to come home. He doesn't love anymore does he? I pushed him away.

It didn't help when found out she was pregnant. It didn't help that her second born was a carbon copy of his father. It didn't help how he was much like his father. It didn't help she had a constant reminder of her failure to be the perfect wife and mother. People didn't like her much so when Goku died she was left alone. Gohan was always training and studying. The Z-Gang had their own lives than to stop and worry about the young widow. Although her and Bulma were close she was too busy working to be with her. So there she was, a young, sad, lonely widow with the company of youngest son. Having him back brought way to many good memories that had turned into nightmare.

Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories

Over the years she had fallen apart. Her heart broke into pieces. She tried to get it together, but it only made it worse. She realized that no one could replace Goku, not that she wanted to, but Bulma, her father and her Kingdom wanted her to move on. It broke her heart even more when she was always reminded that Goku was gone. She tried to put the pieces of her heart together, but it seemed like she was trying to pick up glass and the glass kept on cutting her skin every time she picked a piece making her drop it breaking it even more.

Little do you know
I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece

When Goku tried to be intimate again she pushed him away. Many times he had tried, but she wasn't feeling it. She was afraid.

Little do you know
I need a little more time

It felt like she was locked in her heart. That she could not break the bars of her own prison of self pity and pain. She was trapped. The hole in her heart was so large there was probably no way she could heal it. Not even a senzu bean could help. Nothing could fix this.

Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside

She didn't want to get attached. She didn't want her heart to break even more than before. Even if mentally she didn't know the reason for her distance her heart knew. It didn't want to get hurt again. So subconsciously locked her heart to prevent heartbreak. She didn't want to get attached and dependant on Goku only for him to leave her again to fight.