What was I doing here.
600 miles from home.
8 months later.
Fuck I just have to knock.
I knock on the door of the apartment and I can hear Philip shouting walking towards the door
"I told you twice already it's not my goddamn music!"
He opens the door and stands in what I assume to be disbelief.
He must have ket his hair grew out again as it was in a bun. He had peach fuzz on his face, with dark bags under his eyes, but he kept his fit shape, and those hundreds of freckles on his face.
"Hi pip-" I anxiously smile
He looks like he's trying to smile and not cry all at once
"Jade what are... what are you doing here?"
" I missed you..."
He shakes his head in confusion and steps out of the door way, and tilts his head to motion me inside.
"Excuse the mess.. I wasn't expecting- visitors.."
He lived in a tiny one room apartment, nothing much other than his school desk covered in notes, a tv hung on the wall parallel to his bed that's unmade, with take out containers on the floor and nightstand, then his kitchen, that looks untouched.. strange because Philip always loved to cook
"It's okay-"
I step through the littered floor and sit on the bean bag back in the corner of the room.
"Sooo why- are you here?" He tries to pick up the mess as he talks but as soon as I start to speak he stops to listen
"Like I said... I missed you-"
"You came from New York, to South Carolina- to see me because you missed me? Jade that's ...ridiculous"
Suddenly I'm washed over with regret.
I shouldn't have came.
He doesn't miss me, this was a mistake.
"I thought it would be nice to see your face again.." I feel myself begin to tear up and I look away from him. "I thought you'd be happy to see me."
"Jade I'm- stoked to see you.. but how am I supposed to react? You showed up out of the blue and I'm.. just in shock- just.. lemme get a shower and get dressed then we can.. go grab dinner? Or a coffee?"
I pull my knees to my chest trying not to cry.
Why the hell did I think he'd act like nothing happened. Why did I come here.. god I'm just annoying him.
his had on my knee snaps me out of my thoughts
"It's nice to see you again rose."
His soft smile eased the feelings a bit.. he heads into the bathroom and I can hear the shower running and I close my eyes as I wait.
I open my eyes to see the blinds open, the sun slowly setting over the city. I stretch my arms out and they're covered by a blanket.
