𝙬𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 | 𝙍𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙪𝙨 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆|𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆|𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

"look at me," he whispered.
"you're so pretty," Felix hummed while holding my head up with two fingers. i looked at him, then back at the stars behind him.
"i could stay forever, here with you," he whispered.
"it's getting late again," i whispered back, he nodded.
"they still haven't spoke to you?" he asked,
i shook my head slowly. he moved his hand from under my chin to upon my shoulder, he pulled me into a soft hug. my head rested in the crook of his neck.

"good night Petal," he whispered.
"good night," i replied. he slowly stood, offering me a hand up. i felt so empty. he placed a soft kiss upon my forehead before leaving, just as he always does at this time. i looked over the grounds alone, i was used to it now.

Felix and i had been meeting late at night in the astronomy tower, however in the day time i didn't dare to look at him. he was intimidating,
if i stepped near him all of the girls would watch too closely just like they did with Regulus.
he tried to catch up to me in the halls sometimes, i just couldn't turn to him. John gave me smirks, yet George and Daniel failed to look me in the eyes even once. i was dreading practice.

every night that i met Felix the more i found myself getting attached to him. his smell, his voice, his warmth, yet i knew, i couldn't have him.
i couldn't have anyone. i bring too much pain, too much danger, too much damage, i couldn't do that to anyone. i just couldn't make them have to hold that on their shoulders.

i made my way back through the empty night halls.
each step i took echoed deafeningly loud. i softly smiled at the lady in the pairing, "you're so tired," she hummed lightly, looking at me with a weak smile.
i nodded with a small chuckle, 
"i know," i replied in a defeated tone,
"he's been in here with some red head," she whispered before opening her door for me.

i sighed, walking slowly to my room. he always had it so fucking cold. i opened my door before sitting back in my room.

it had been a six days since the party.
five days since my life at Hogwarts seemed to get even worse. my own best friend was on his side.

i hadn't even spoken to Sirius since our argument,
i hadn't spoke to anyone much lately. well, i spoke to Felix in the night.
the walls around me seemed to let the heat escape but the hostility held the cold and pushed it harshly into me.

i was in a state of longing for the past.
i longed for normality. i longed for anything and everything. i found myself isolating myself more than ever before. Regulus and i didn't live together in harmony, we were like two empty vessels floating past each other. i saw him once, he brought some blonde back, he was flaunting her around the room.
he asked me to join, i didn't even play up to his games, i just got up and left.

i couldn't sleep, when i tried all i saw was Zambini's arm, marked by him. all i saw was betrayal.
when the sun finally rose, the painful light hit my eyes with a sting. the morning had came yet i had not slept through the transition at all.

i made my way from my room to go to my first lesson, it was now a thursday, tomorrow night was Slughorn's masquerade ball, i wasn't going. i found my lack
of motivation embarrassing.
'friends mean nothing' i told myself yet i knew it was i lie. i was crushed. Marissa was so pure,
so true, i thought i could trust her with my life.
yet it seemed she only was in my life for him.