𝙬𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 | 𝙍𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙪𝙨 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏|𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏|𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

‧⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

i sat in what once was Sirius' bed alone that night.
the ceiling stared back at me with its blank expression, the walls listened to my every breath, and the locked windows yearned for my touch.

my mind raced at inexplicable speeds, speeds far faster that i could not keep up with, not a cognitive thought ruled my mind, yet
the impending feeling of guilt ruled my stomach with a tight, tyrannous fist.

hopeless, completely and utterly hopeless.

i was once told of my talents, my worth, and the heights of my future. this war had stripped it from me.

the flame that led my way through this darkness had been extinguished a long time ago, yet until now i get trudging my way through the dark.

my body ached, each muscle fighting off the impending fatigue it would soon face. i the night sky had never looked so melancholy. each star seemed a greater distance from the rest, alone.
it was then that my eyes drifted to the moon.
a lump in my throat formed and a tear slipped from my eye.

it was full.

it was a full moon and there was nothing i could do to help my friend. i could not have brewed him and wolfsbane, i could not comfort him, i could hold him after. i could do nothing.

a light knock of the door broke me from my stare.
i turned towards the large frame.
as it opened, i imagined seeing Sirius peak his head through, mutter something stupid, and then steal me away like i now wished.

yet when Regulus stepped into the room, with a half smile on his face, i let out a disappointed sigh.
"when can i leave?" i whispered.

"no greeting? no hello Regulus, how are you?" his smiled to himself.

"i think we are far past the formalities of conversation now Black. remember i am not here by choice," i turned away from him once more to look to the street of London.

"i find your moods to be more erratic than ever," he smirked. he knew exactly what he was doing.
the irritable tone in his voice spoke of his intent.

"are you surprised i am not smiling ear to ear? begging to converse with you?" i watched as a street light flickered outside of the window. he same and sat beside me on the bay of the window.

"do you understand that this is worse than torture Black? i am here, doing nothing, while holding the information that could lose us the war. i am trapped in a home of people who have aided my years of torture. i am trapped here while my friends suffer."

"i have told you. my plans will be in effect soon. you will not need to worry, Pettigrew is useless, all information he brings as for now aids us in no way, he will be killed before we know it," he placed a hand on my shoulder. i shuddered.

"i do not care about your plans Black, i do not care about anything other than stopping this war.
i do not want to live another second knowing that my friends, the only people who have loved me and cared for me, are out there fighting," as i spoke he stared at me without emotion.