asahi x reader oneshots

refusal (~angst~) /part 1?/

************TW: self harm, anxiety/panic attack, mentions of anxiety, self-hatred (implied)***********

hey everyone, i have a head-cannon that asahi uses he/they pronouns. not completely sure why lol. but i will be use those pronouns for them in this story, lmk if you enjoy that.

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at the end of today's volleyball practice, noya pulled us all aside and told us about what he called 'his master plan'

"you guys should all come over to my house tomorrow and swim! it's almost summer, so the water will be the perfect temperature!" he says.

let's be honest, we all know it's noya and tanaka's 'sneaky' way of trying to see kiyoko in a swimsuit. i'm pretty excited to hang out with the team outside of school and practice. i wonder how everyone will act whenever volleyball isn't the only thing on their minds. i hope noya doesn't have a pool volleyball net. god, what a disaster that would be. i giggle at the thought. everyone gave their words of approval before separating out.

i turn my head to look over at asahi to see what he'd think of his friends idea. however, instead of the usual dissatisfied look he'd give noya, he looked detached and worried. what's wrong with him? he's usually perfectly fine with get-togethers; especially if the parties are noya's. i hope he's okay.  

*after practice*

"hey, asahi," i call. my goal is to ask why they're so worried. however, as i soon will learn, asking people about their problems is not something i'm talented at.

"yeah? what's up, (y/n)?" they reply.

fuck. i don't want to ask them here. i hesitate on my words and divert my eyes for a moment. 

"...do you wanna stay over at my house tonight? it's friday and we can get ready for noya's pool party together," i say. that's a good enough excuse, it gives me enough time to ask them later.

"oh, uhm, yea sure," they respond lightly, but traces of unease were weaved through their words. daichi and suga overhear and chuckle to each other before they started bumping asahi around suggestively. asahi's face was more red than i've seen it to date. we all let out laughs that echo throughout the gym, asahi hiding his face in his hands.

i'll just ask him later. it's probably not a big deal. he's probably just worried about something else. 

we all move around the gym, collecting the spare volleyballs, taking down the net, and sweeping the floor. coach gave the team a few pointers and some advice. i can't recall what about though, i'd zoned out halfway through ukai talking about serves or something. we all trekked with exaughtion back to the locker room. 

after we all change out of club practice attire and into casual clothes, asahi and i fall into steps together while we walk in the direction of my house, hand in hand. light conversation flows between us, whatever we can talk about. i think for the most part, i just wanted to get these thoughts (that are most definitely the result of overthinking) out of my head. we made a quick stop by asahi's place on the way so he can pack a bag to stay at my house.

once asahi's bag situation is sorted out (who overpacks at any chance he can get) we started back on our path.

should i ask them now? why am i stressing over this, they're fine. they're fine. they're fine. for some agonizing reason, i have the feeling... they're not...

i took to long to ponder, i realized as we reached my front door much sooner than i expected. 

we both step inside and take off our shoes and leave them at the door. at this point, i convinced myself that they're okay and that somehow cooled my jets. i was overthinking like i tend to do. they're fine, i don't need to look after them like they're a baby. why do i need to keep reassuring myself? maybe... just maybe... i should ask.