asahi x reader oneshots

slayy SLAYYY - for mature audiences only :) (fem reader)

AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHSAHFHASDKHFJJHFSGKJHS DDDQ ajhdsfgeoiwasud 

i odnt wanna talk about ut 

anyway

uhh.. enjoy????

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fuck this. 

so much had been on my mind recently. mostly about my finals. being in my third year of college at a fashion school had really not been easy. i mean, i have a few friends to hold me through it, but it had really just drained me. the classes were long, and they were interesting, sure, but it had me thinking about if i really wanted to dedicate my life to being in the fashion industry. maybe i'll just drop out and work at a mcdonalds or something. 

i'm sitting at my small, cluttered desk, littered with scrapped patterns, textbooks, crumbled papers, and residue of fabric and thread from previous projects. the harsh blue toned lighting of the screen burned my eyes. my essay stared at me, almost like it would whisper me a threat if i didn't tap the keys. the small, but anxiety inducing flashing of the cursor, paired with the half filled page of meaningless words made it all the worse. tears pricked at my eyes and i let my eyelids shut with the weight of exhaustion. i lowered my head down onto the desk in front of my laptop and let out a shaky sigh. i lay there for a few minutes, in the path of the screens bright glow.

i just want to quit. 

this was one of the situations i fell into quite often. questioning the choices i had made, and also wondering how i even managed to get myself into them. how did i end up here? one of the best fashion schools? why did i choose this? am i really that good at something that i'm so unsure about? i'm eternally grateful for all the things i've learned and the people i've met, but something just always ends up making me feel like i chose the wrong path. the menacing glares that i've gotten from my family, old friends, new coworkers, old mangers, everyone. someone else questioning my choice made me begin to question it myself. 

this school just makes everything ten times more stressful than it should be. projects that are due two days from the day it's assigned, homework and extra work from every class, and an almost dead laptop anytime it's used. my sleep hours were getting to, at best, 5 hours a night. living off of coffee and an unstable job just made me love my life even more. my water intake- uhhh... its... unspeakable. everything made my mind feel foggy, alone time was at a zero, and even after exams were over, i had an uninviting family to go back to. i don't know whether i want to go home or do finals forever and never see them. 

once i finally got the energy to pick my head up, by bones felt like they'd turn to stone. it just hurt to move at this point. the essay portion was due the next day at 11:00am. i turned my head to check the time, 12:34am. i throw myself back onto my chair and let my arms flail out. i can't focus, this is too much. i need to talk to someone. i closed my laptop in frustration and rubbed my hands over my face. sitting here in this room with a person who was almost a stranger. a roommate i didn't know shit about. who just glared at me anytime i tried to interact with them. it scared me, but after a while i learned to keep my distance. 

i usually listen to music, but my roommate was already asleep because they had an exam at 8 in the morning. so, me being considerate, i put headphones in, but after a while, my playlist had been repeated three and a half times, and my ears throbbed with pain. music is my comfort, so to have music not work in the worst situation is pretty shitty. i love it here. i stood up, though my body was screaming protests of sore and aches. i grabbed my bag, phone, chargers, my laptop, and an energy drink. i pulled my phone out and texted the one person who i knew would be willing to take in a sleep deprived, moody, burnt-out, me. the one person who supported me and took care of me, who checked up on me everyday, and just let me be me.