Letters

First Letter

         

   
                                                        March 21, 2021

Dear  Self,

I met a guy named Query Yoseph Tron.

A boy I met online and also a neighbor of mine.

We became friends through chat and nakakasama ko naman siya in person.

He is really good to be with.

Kaso nga lang loko-loko.

Habang tumatagal ang pagsasama namin, hindi ko aakalaing magiging ganito.

Na magugustuhan ko siya.

I like him, I really do.

I always admire him from afar.

He was very unable to reach, parang ba langit siya at lupa ako.

Gusto ko siyang makilala, maging kaibigan.

I never thought na may araw na mangyayari iyon, pero ano nga bang sabi nila?

Expect the unexpected

Isang araw, nakapagusap kami, nagkakakilalan sa isa't isa, we talk about the stuff that we really like and some stuff na nangyari noon.

And by that naging kaibigan ko na siya.

I was really contented of us being friends, hindi ako naghahangad ng higit pa roon.

Atlis naging part ako ng buhay niya..... but I never really thought about the opposite way.

May mga oras na sana, sana hindi nalang nangyari iyon, sana di ko kalang siya nakilala.

Hirap niyang abutin eh.

But it was not an valid reason for me to leave.

I'm his friend, a friend should never leave.

I confess to him about my feelings, well I can't say na nareject ako or he also had the same feelings that I have.

He didn't say anything but it was okay, atlis hindi ako aasa diba.

At dahil doon mas nakilala namin ang isa't isa.

He told me na pwede naman akong umiwas kung gusto ko.

I said "why would I?"

Bakit??? Wala naman siyang ginawang masama para layuan ko siya.

He didn't hurt me, not even a pinch.

It was my fault, sinasaktan ko ang sarili ko by thinking about things that will never even happen.

Siya iyong taong pwede mong pagkatiwalaan sa lahat, even the worst things about you.

I always open up sa kanya, cause I thought he will understand me and my situation but no..... he never did.

He will never did.

I wanted to erase my feelings by avoiding him without him knowing.

But it's hard.

He like someone now and I'm very happy for him na nakahanap siya nang isang taong makakapagpasaya sa kanya.

I'll just support him and move on.

I'll love myself more and focus more on myself.

Hindi ko muna siya kakausapin for a while..... baka kung anong sabihin noong girl eh.

He won't care naman.

So I'll enjoy my life without him.

I need to turn the page now.

                                                          Nagpapaalam,
                                                                    Ziane