Undeniable Treasure | Ninjago Bruise

8

Cole stayed in his room for the majority of the day. He was thinking about how he'd make it up to Jay. He didn't want to lose him; he wasn't ready for that. But he did need to be able to control his feelings just like he could before. 

Everything had fallen apart since Jay found out. Cole's feelings had become stronger and he thought his chances at being with Jay had grown when they really hadn't. He became more stubborn, selfish and made way more stupid decisions. This 'crush' was messing with his head. It needed to stop. 

Cole was sick of avoiding his best friend because of this. He was ready to put things right for once. He was ready to be the bigger person and apologise, just like he should have right from the start.

He took a deep breath and headed out of his room to go and find Jay. He'd had a few hours to calm down and think and was finally ready. He just hoped he wouldn't bump into Nya again because it didn't exactly go well earlier. 

Now the news was spreading around. Jay told Nya about his crush and the water ninja was bound to tell someone. Cole didn't care about that right now though. He was focused on Jay and for the right reasons this time.

After looking all over the monastery for the jokester, he finally found him sat outside on the monastery steps alone, thinking. Cole approached quietly from behind, not giving Jay much chance to see he was coming and plan some sort of lie to start up a conversation. Not that it made any sense.

"Hey Jay..." Cole spoke quietly.

Jay turned his head to look behind him, spotting the earth ninja stood a few feet away.

"Hey," Jay sounded a little hopeful, "About earlier, I-"

"No," Cole cut in, "Don't say anything. Please let me talk first. If you speak then you'll put me off and... who knows how that will end."

"Okay," Jay responded almost silently.

Cole took a deep breath and sat down beside Jay on the step. He thought for a few moments before glancing at his best friend briefly.

"Y'know... I've always been able to control my feelings for you. I've always been so supportive of you and Nya and I never want to come between you two. You're perfect together..." He began.

Yeah, that wasn't exactly the truth because he knew, well in his opinion, that Nya wasn't good for him and he deserved much better than her, but he needed Jay to understand him right now.

"But the day that she broke up with you... you were just so upset and you were saying horrible things about yourself and... I guess everything just came out. Yeah, I have to admit, I still don't think Nya is great for you but I'm not going to ruin things for you because you're happy and that's all I care about. I used to be so good at controlling all of my feelings but now that you know I guess I've just crumbled under the pressure. I'm not making up excuses; the way I've been acting recently is completely unacceptable and I try to punish myself for it every day but..." Cole sighed and glanced down at his hands.

"Cole, it's okay," Jay tried to cut in.

"No, Jay, it's not. I've been making you feel uncomfortable and now I can see why. I'm supposed to be your best friend, not make you want to avoid me," Cole told him.

"I'm not trying to avoid you," Jay frowned.

"Maybe you should..." Cole sighed again, "Look, I just... I need to say that... I'm sick of the way I've been acting towards you. And I know saying this won't make anything better but I need to be completely honest even if it does make you hate me and never want to be around me again and-"

"Cole, just say it," Jay smiled, getting sick of his rambling.

"This stupid crush has become... more than just a stupid crush. It's turning into an obsession and I hate it. You're all I ever think about and-"

"An obsession?" Jay frowned, feeling a little uncomfortable again.

 Cole buried his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down, "I'm so sorry, Jay. I don't know what's happened to me. I'm turning into someone I genuinely hate and I don't know how to control it. I don't know how to make it better. The last thing I want is to make you feel uncomfy and... that's all that I've been doing. It's not what a best friend does."

Jay had nothing to say. He just sat there in silence, pretty much in shock. He didn't think things would escalate this way.

"That's why I have to do what is right. And the only thing I can do right now is stay away. If I keep myself away from you, the crush will go away, right? It may take time but... I will do anything to make sure things get better not only for me but for you too. And Nya made it pretty clear to me earlier that she doesn't want me interfering in your relationship anymore," Cole explained.

"Wait, Cole, you really don't have to do that," Jay frowned again.

"Yes, I do. I don't want to either, trust me, but it's the best thing I can do right now. We both need space to figure things out. I'm sorry but... I don't want to hurt you anymore. It's just going to make things worse," Cole continued.

Jay sighed and thought for a moment. He knew Cole was right. He knew it was the right thing to do. He hated it. 

"I guess you're right... I'm sorry, Cole, I really am," Jay sighed.

"Me too," Cole briefly glanced at him with a smile, "But just know that, I love you, okay?"

Jay returned the smile, trying to hold back his tears. He held his arms out for a hug, which Cole gladly took. They stayed there for a few moments, taking it all in. This would be the last thing they spoke to each other in a while. Neither of them were ready nor prepared for it but... it needed to happen. Things would be better after. 

Jay was the most important person to Cole. He'd been there for him no matter what. He'd helped him through everything with his mom. He'd helped him through everything with being a ghost. They'd been through so much together. The love triangle, the tournament of elements, day of the departed, Cole falling off the Bounty during the fight with the Oni... There had been so much. For things to turn out this way all because of Cole made him feel so guilty. It made Jay feel bad too. 

But they needed to remember that they weren't losing each other for forever. It was just for now.