Two Shots of Blueberry

part 6

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Erwin asked, voice rasping with exasperation.

It took Levi a few seconds, looking from wall to wall in the room, as if to do anything other than make eye contact. When he finally found the words, it felt like they couldn’t come out of his throat. And then, after sitting in the bed, mouth agape, he forgot what he was going to say. He covered his face in his hands.

“Levi…” He said, approaching the bed fully now. Erwin slowly lowered to one knee, offering an incredibly unsteady hand across the bedridden man’s lap. He clasped shaking fingers over one of Levi‘s clenched fists.

Erwin’s gaze flicked upward to Levi’s downcast eyes. He looked exhausted. Dark circles framed his face, as did loose strands of his hair, at this point greasy and in need of a wash. When Levi didn’t answer him within about fifteen seconds, Erwin;s head tilted downward to Levi’s belly. Really, it was a miracle. They’d… Conceived… A child. Together. Him and the most beautiful man he had ever seen. The mounting tension, anxiety and fear was overshadowed by a romanticized, beautiful daydream of taking care of Levi for the next few months, washing his hair for him, massaging his back and shoulders when the weight took its toll, holding him tight when he got too uncomfortable to sleep. A dreamy smile appeared on his lips, and he nearly chuckled.

Unbeknownst to him, Levi could see Erwin’s little smile. His brow furrowed and for a second, he forgot how upset he was about the baby situation. He was angry that that dumbass doctor was smiling as he suffered with the consequences of their actions.

“What are you smiling for, dumbass?” He growled, wacking him on the back of the head with the hand previously enclosed in Erwin’s.

Erwin looked back up at Levi, smile gone, a fearful expression replacing it once more. But now he wanted his answers. If it was, in fact, his baby, he had been deprived of the knowledge of its existence for however many months.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He pressed.

Levi groaned and looked out the window desperately. He wanted to be anywhere but there.

“Because I’m not keeping it, and we aren’t together.” He answered harshly.

Erwin’s heart seemed to break as he heard this. Pain flooded his features, making his eyes wet and his lip quiver.

“You-you’re not keeping it?” He asked weakly.

“Who’s going to take care of it? Who’s going to love it? Who’s going to pay for it? I certainly can’t. I’m not going through all of this shit, delivery and then be a poor struggling single dad to a child I concieved through my fucking ass!”

Heat filled Levi’s face as he spoke, voice raising with each word. Anger was Erwin’s first assumption as he watched, but under the anger was a man terrified of what was to come.

“Did you think I’d let you deal with this by yourself? Levi, if only I had known… I would’ve been here for you every step of the way.”

“You’re only saying that.” Levi protested. “What would possess you to lie about shit like this. There is a person inside of me, it’s not some sort of game you can fuck me over with.” He snapped.

“Levi.”

“Don’t fuck with me, asshole! It’s not a joke! I didn’t tell you because you’d just lead me on!”

“Levi.”

“No, you don’t get to talk. You’re a lying son of a bitch-”

Erwin rose to his feet in seconds. Levi stiffened at the motion, but before he could move any more, arms were around him. A tight, loving hug enveloped him. Shock held him frozen, but Erwin wasn’t letting go. He was leaning over in a very uncomfortable looking position, but, eyes squeezed shut, he was staying where he was. Tears sprung to his eyes, and to avoid making a noise, Levi bit harshly on his lip. But it didn’t stop him fully. All of the emotion in the room, all of the emotion he’d suppressed for the past few months came over him all at once. And he cried. He shivered and shook, but only when his reluctant arms slid over Erwin’s back did he find a sense of comfort.

“You don’t have to keep it… But I want to be part of this. We did this together months ago, we will do the rest of it together as well.”

Levi nodded slowly against Erwin’s shoulder, eyes red and puffy now. He felt like all the emotion that had been building up had overcome him, and now he felt empty. Empty aside from the growing human life inside of him. Erwin let go at some point in the next ten minutes, but Levi had fallen asleep. Erwin gently laid him back in the hospital bed and tucked him in. He would do his checkup later, for now, the exhausted emotional mess that was Levi needed to rest.

-

Erwin found himself in one of the back rooms minutes later, sitting alone in a corner with a large hot coffee. The light blue painted room was dark, somewhat spacious with medical supplies lining the walls on white shelves, and large black cabinets placed on the wall opposite from Erwin. He was alone in this room, sipping black coffee while he thought about the only thing he could. Levi. Levi and his growing belly. All he had ever wanted in life was a beautiful home, a successful career, a husband he loved, and little ones running around all over the place. He could have all these things with Levi, and in fact, he had imagined pursuing a romantic relationship with him… More than imagined, actually. He’d planned for it.

Every day he showed up to see Levi, every day he flirted and chatted. And until that day that him and Levi stumbled into the bathroom together for the first time, his plan was going perfectly. But things went awry when Levi made his intentions clear. He only wanted sex from him, just the taste of his lips and the flesh under his jeans. Levi gave himself to Erwin, but only to release his stress. And Erwin took it, he couldn’t complain. Levi was sexy. His body radiated heat and his insides felt like velvet… But the way his heart grew excited when he locked eyes with him across the shop was never because of the prospect of sex.

His shift was done late in the evening, thirty minutes after ten. He changed into casual jeans and a button down. And then he found his way to Levi’s hospital room. The short man was sitting on the side of his bed, swinging his legs with an absent look on his face. Erwin knocked on the door as he entered.

“You’re awake.”

Levi looked up, but said nothing.

“How was your check-up? I’m sorry it couldn’t be me.”

“It was alright. I’m cleared to leave, I’m just waiting to get a ride.”

Erwin perked up at this, only entering the room fully then. He took a seat next to Levi on the bed, a respectful six inches in between them. For a few moments he was quiet, but it wasn’t for long.

“Will you stay with me?” He asked suddenly.

“What?”

“Stay at my place. Until you decide what you want, of course.” He stammered. “Let me take care of you.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me.” Levi protested.

“You’re weak, exhausted, and under incredible stress. If you don’t want me to care for you, I’m making sure you have someone else.”

Levi glared at Erwin. He clasped his hands together and stretched out his fingers one by one as he decided what he would do.

“I could ask Sasha to watch you-“

“Why do you care so much?” Levi interrupted.

Silence between them rooted and grew rapidly. Neither of them spoke for what seemed to be a long time, but in reality was probably only ten to fifteen seconds. Erwin couldn’t help but feel hurt. Why did he care? It should’ve been so obvious why he cared. He was in love with Levi, and he loved the baby they made, and even if Levi chose not to go through with the pregnancy… He would still love Levi and he would still pursue him with the same fervor he had for the past year. But Levi wasn’t in a place to hear this from him, so he explained only part of it.

“If you have forgotten, the kid growing inside you is also mine, Levi. And I… I want to be a part of this.”

“Fine!” Levi exclaimed. “Whatever. I’ll stay with you. But just until I make my mind up.”