The Shift; Levi Ackerman X

IX

"You don't look so well."

Victor stared off as he watched the students train in the field, Pixis somewhere inside. Moblit, Hange's assistant had been brought over to gather their papers that were left behind when they left two months before. "I'm fine, just a little nausea." He blinked, biting his cheeks to keep the taste of stomach acid off his tongue.

"Maybe you should come back and have Hange look at yo-"

"No." He turned to Moblit, glaring at him. "I'm fine where I am. Don't prod." He pushed off the fence he was leaning on, walking away from the other to the teens. "Hey! Let's get going to dinner, I don't like being late!" He jogged to the dining hall grabbing his food before making sure everyone was accounted for so he could relax. He hadn't had any decent alone time.
Victor took a chair from the classroom, pulling outside near the end of the building. He finished his food slowly, resting his head against the stone wall with a sigh as he set the bowl down. His stomach had been rumbly and his back ached for weeks while with the trainees he couldn't wear his binder wrap anymore let alone a work bra. He knew something was up, he just didn't know what. Vic thought it was homesickness with nearly three months away from Levi. He missed him beyond reason and he wasn't allowed to visit. He looked to the sky, holding in the food he had just eaten

He had let a few days go by, the nausea keeping him bedridden all afternoon. Vic had been working out with the trainees when he vomited over the fence. He sat with his emotions and his memories of beyond the wall. Curled in a ball under his blanket his mind went back to his childhood, hardly raised by his parents as they were so focused on saving themselves & making Zeke the savior of his kind. He rolled over.

It wasn't something he could talk about, not even with Levi or even Hange. Mara Glucklich was the adopted sister she grew up with, her and her mother Jane raising her while Grisha and Dina hardly ever seeing him in the 6 years before they died. His grandparents on Grisha's side had tried to find him after his parents died. They wanted to use him instead of Zeke after they began to think he switched sides, helping the Marleyans instead.
Vic remembered being put into hiding from their friends and family, Jane and Mara protecting him so he could warn Grisha who they knew had gone to Paradis. They never believed he was dead, Victor seeing him with his own eyes proved they were right. 

The door behind him creaked open, a familiar face peeking through. "Vittoria ..?" Hange adjusted their glasses. "Moblit told me you were sick earlier this week then Pixis sent a messenger that you got worse."

"I'm fine. I'll be gone by the end of the week." Vic sat up, green faced. Hange walked further into the room, pulling the blanket tighter over Victors shoulders.

"I doubt that, alright. Were taking you back home to Levi as soon as I check you out."

He swung his feet over the bed onto the floor, Hange pulling up a chair. "I honestly don't think it's anything serious, I've been so busy it could just be stres-"

"Shut up." They took Victor by the chin opening his mouth to see down his throat then holding the back of his hand to Vics forehead. "You're not too warm, & no white spots or swelling. Whens the last time you had your monthly? Unless you're on it now." Victor froze under Hange's prodding and poking.

"I, uh..." He thought for a moment, looking up at Hange's brown eyes. "I haven't bled since I've been here." He shimmed the blanket off, pushing himself up. "I've never gone this long without a cycle, something's wrong with me." He grabbed his jacket and began to shove his stuff into his back pack. Hange calculated the situation in their mind before it clicked, gasping.

"You're pregnant? Or your dying but I'm pretty sure if you were you'd still have your fucking menstruation." Victor carried his stuff to the door, looking back.

"I don't want Levi to know." He glanced down before turning and stumbling out of the building. Hange followed close behind, helping him walk to the stables where they attached his horse to a carriage. They waited inside, Hange trying to keep quiet over Victor possibly being with child. The carriage left soon after the coachman arrived. Both sat in silence most of the way back, listening to the sloshing of the spring rains and the wheels in the mud. Vic fiddled with his backpack straps, resting his head back to not dry heave. "How close are we?" He asked, tightening his arms around his stomach. Hange peeked out the door seeing only trees.

"I don't know." They turned to get comfortable. Victor sighed as they sped up, swallowing before sitting up to face Hange. "I'm going to call for a midwife once we get back. They would know for sure, better than me." Hange adjusted their glasses. "Vittoria, if you sincerely don't want Levi to know how are we going to hide something like this from him?"

"I don't want it. Plain and simple." He pulled his braid over his shoulder, untying the tie around the end to let his hair fall loose. "My line shouldn't be allowed to continue."

Hange nodded. "It's your choice."

Only another hour passed when the carriage paused, it shaking as the coachman got down to open the door. Hange helped Victor out to the ground, both walking into the building ahead passing the stables and the cottage down the trail. No one had been alerted of their arrival other than Moblit who was there to ready a private room for him. As Victor went up to his room Hange sent Moblit to fetch the midwife, hurrying to catch up with Vic. "I wish i could see him." He curled up under his blanket looking at Hange who sat in a chair across the room. He thought maybe he'd understand why he was afraid to have children with the royal blood in his veins, hidden in his mind the outside world. He closed his eyes at the thought of the Marleyans attacking the walls while he lived inside them, making love with one.
He drowned in the idea that him and Levi could have a family and he could one day look in the mirror and see who he was inside on the outside as well. The change of his body scared him, raising a child not so much but the dysphoria kicked him square in the face after he realized he was pregnant.

A knock came from the door, a blonde woman entering the room with a doctors bag in her hand. "Hello." She smiled shaking Hange's hand. "I'm Andrea Dermot, the midwife." She set her bag down, taking the seat Hange was using and brought it over beside the bed. Victor tossed the blanket off and braided his hair back to keep it out of his face. "You must be Vittoria."

"Yep." He cleared his throat adjusting his shirt. "So..."

"I wouldn't worry about anything. Um, those I would have you pee in this before we start the rest of the exam." She pulled a large glass cup from her bag, handing it to Victor, him taking it and standing. Hange left with him to the bathroom, waiting outside while he peed in the cup. Vic cursed and covered the cup on his way back to the room.

"Where should I put this?" The midwife pointed to the bedside table, him setting it next to the bag with the rag over it. "Do I just..?"

"Yeah, go ahead and lay down." Vic exhaled shakily as he rested his head, pillows under his back. He looked to Hange, them nodding before leaving him and Andrea alone."Just try and relax, this will be over very quickly."