riptides//eret x reader [DISCONTINUED]

1

TW:panic attack, eating disorder

I was getting big on twitch I noticed. All I have been doing is recreating builds in my style from the dream smp but if that is what is making my fan happy, I'll keep doing it. I never thought I would get big or be noticed by someone famous or anything like that. At this point I had 11k watching me right now. I have about 50k followers and was very happy about it. I was recreating erets pride castle today and was really liking the progress so far. I look over to the streams chat seeing everyone spamming "ERET" or "Eret is here!". I pause the game and scroll up in the chat to see a comment by him.

"Keep up the great work! I'm going to stick around to see you finish this :]" Is what he said. The chat kept freaking out and I didn't know how to react. I unpaused the game and continue to build. A few minutes later I get a 3 dollar donation. The text to speech then read out "why are you so fat?" This hurt me a lot and my throat felt like it was closing up. I lightly gasp for air trying not to worry the chat.

"I- I am going to go. I hope you guys had a good stream! Bye guys!" I quickly tell the stream. I click the end stream button and quickly close the tab. I stand up holding my desk for support feeling light headed. I feel tears fill my eyes as I look to a half opened bag of potato chips. I think some of chat saw the dono and knows why I ended the stream. Maybe they just think I was closing off. My mind was flooded with thoughts, grabbing the bag of chips and just throwing them away. I didn't want to eat anymore. What if the dono was right? I have been eating more then usual..

I hear my phone ding seeing a Twitter notification. Still hyperventilating, I open it; it was a DM from eret. What could be wrong? Did they need something?

Eret: Hey are you alright? I noticed the donation and I wanted to make sure you are alright
  You: yea I'm fine thank you for your concern Eret :)
Eret: are you sure y/n? You seemed stressed about it

They got me. At this point I started to cry more stressing if I could be honest with them. Well he was my comfort streamer and he has helped other people in the past. I then sit down on my bed and look back to my phone.

You: alright you got me and yes the dono affected me a lot. I have been having trouble just eating in general and it made me feel like I was eating to much
Eret: I'm so sorry about that. Is there anything I can do for you? I want you to know that eating is healthy and everyone needs to!
You: thank you Eret life isn't just going my way rn but I am getting through it
Eret:I'm very proud of you! So where are you from?
You: oh I live in downtown LA. I know you live here too but never disclosed what part
Eret: wait really? I live there too! I just want you to know that I am here for you, you have my full support, and you can visit me if you need too, love <3
You: thank you so much Eret! Maybe we could catch up sometime. I don't really have anyone else to talk to other then the stream
Eret: no problem And I'm fine with that! Well I'm going to get some rest and you should too since it is getting so late
You:alright! Have a good night eret! Thank you so much :)

After talking with Eret, I felt a lot better then before. I then just realized that the only thing I ate today was the half bag of chips. I felt fine and not hungry at all. I then began to thing you got this. do it for Eret. He would be proud. I walk to my door and walk out to go down to the kitchen. I slowly crept by my dad to grab a bag of cheddar gold fish. I then hear my dad get up from the couch so I hide the gold fish under my hoodie. I swiftly walk by my father and run back to my room. I then hear my fathers foot steps come up the stairs. I close my bedroom door and hide the goldfish bag just in case he comes in my room. My dad then walks by my door and heads to his room as I hear by his footsteps.

I have learned his foot step pattern to tell the difference from other peoples along with where he is going too. I then go back and grab the goldfish bag from the corner of my room. I slowly open the bag to make sure he doesn't hear since the walls are so thin. I make sure not to stream or be on a call very late at night to get him mad at me. I look in the bag thinking I might regret the decision but I know I need too. My eyes tear up a bit as I grab a few goldfish from the bag and forcefully eat them. I tried my best and that is what counts. I then close the bag up and put it in my nightstand drawer.

I go back over to my desk and sit to go on my computer. I decided to hop on twitch and check some ban repeals because they are sometimes very funny and boost my self confidence and some are not very nice. My mods let me go through the funny ones because they know I like doing them while they go through the rude ones. Some funny ones are people saying I'm hot and wanting to marry me which is very flattering but I don't know them so it's kinda weird. I'm comfortable with it but my mods like to keep me safe from them so I don't get harassed by those people. Most of those I decline and some I accept depending upon what they say and how they say it. I sometimes go through ban appeals during stream so my mods have to ban people that want to be noticed along with the others just doing it. The mods are extra busy cause they still have to go through the appeals to keep me safe and not getting me banned showing them on stream.

After looking at the appeals for about half an hour, I hop onto discord. I look through the chats on my server and see what people are talking about. They were talking about math in one until they noticed I was online. I check through the other rooms and they were all just blowing up with them noticing I'm online while other people were confused. I smiled knowing that there are people happy to see me not knowing the things I go through hoping my fans do not go through the same pain as I do.

I decided after it became 4 AM I should get some rest so my dad doesn't get mad at me for sleeping in. I turn the monitor off and get changed into some sweat pants and a tank top to go to sleep. I go over to plug in my keyboard in so it will be charged for the morning. I then walk over to my bed and plug my phone in. I turn my phone onto do not disturb because my discord and twitch can sometimes blow up randomly blow up in the middle of the night. I go and turn off my light and turn Eret's past videos from YouTube on my tv because he is so comforting especially after what just happened. I slowly drifted off the sleep, closing my eyes as I hear eret say in the video "you are loved, you are valid, and I love you guys so much".

(Word count:1376)